Miss Ashley Pants

Ashley

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Macaque copyrights: workarounds David Slater should try

Posted on August 8, 2014

Copyright laws are a bish, aren’t they? Some people “transform” their public images or careers by being a bit blatant with plagiarism and some just get effed over hunting down media to insert into a news site without butthurting Getty. It’s understandable that people want money, though – especially if they waited in the streets of a concrete jungle for a celebrity to emerge from getting her ass douched. But.. Read More

Nude yoga: my body is ready

Posted on August 7, 2014

Ready your bodies, we’re doing naked yoga today. No, no. I mean – a friend recently posted something about a chick doing it. And that was after another friend posted a video a while ago about its benefits, too. (Unintentional troll alert: Before any hetero readers who aren’t chicks get too excited – they were both dudes.) But I sense some of your “right top x button” trigger fingers getting.. Read More

4chandy Warholism: screencaps are now art.

Posted on August 7, 2014

When I heard a computer screenshot sold for $90,900, I thought it was a hoax. Or maybe some super scandalous evidence of a post that’d been deleted by a celebrity or high ranking public official who had more money than grey matter, forgot the internet’s written in ink, and believed they could buy back digitally indelible commentary in order to erase it from reality. Nope. True to form, however, my.. Read More

Seven minutes to heaven (if you jog the whole way)

Posted on August 6, 2014

A news bit I watched recently on longevity asked the question: “If you could extend your life by three years from jogging, would you do it?” That depends. How much of those three years do I have to pay in jogging? This already sounds like one of those deals with the built in fees or a net lottery win of five dollars after the government took the other million. As.. Read More

Battering roommates for a breakfast of baked goods

Posted on August 5, 2014

Chips ahoy! Set sail for hell! Because that’s just where you might be speed boating to if you’re as unlucky as this 49 year old lady who got caught by her 23 year old roomie with an open package of sweet snacks in the A.M. Upon entering the kitchen they shared, the dude with whom she lived observed the savory forensic evidence – an opened cookie container with three of.. Read More

From Russia with “love entertainment”: banning backsides backfires

Posted on August 5, 2014

I’ve always loved reverse psychology. People want what they’re told they can’t have. And you can totally use this to your advantage, if you’re smart. Which is why I don’t get why – if you’re a government who doesn’t want people to ingest a drug or sexercise a certain way – why you’d make that thing illegal. We’re little kids imprisoned in adult bodies. If you hide the cookies in.. Read More

Signs of the Zuckpocalypse

Posted on August 5, 2014

It was a dark and foreboding morning. Rain gently began to fall. But the battleship grey skies above us weren’t even a sufficiently ominous backdrop for what to was transpire next. As the hardworking nine to fivers shuffled mindlessly from their homes in time to sit in the drive through while awaiting their morning adrenaline needle to the heart in the form of a steaming Venti elixir, they reached for.. Read More

Scraps are safe for Spot

Posted on August 4, 2014

And now, for some research Rover will love to hear: It’s okay… …to feed your dog people food. Some of it, at least. While things like chocolate, alcohol, yeast (and I’m also told grapes and tomatoes are no good, either) are still on the blacklist for your buddy’s belly, we’ve taken the specialized dog food mentality a bit too far over the years, says science. And a lot of it.. Read More

Walking Dead S4: comments, complaints, and spoilers.

Posted on August 4, 2014

It’s getting harder to binge-isode my formerly favorite shows. I get bored and nervous. Then I start thinking of everything else I need to do. Then comes the stress eating. Then I start stabbing the mormons who come to my door because they have that look in their eyes that says “I’m not really alive”. So, generally, I avoid more than an episode or two at a time. That said….. Read More

Lower the thermostat to battle bad fat from your mattress

Posted on August 3, 2014

Want to burn off that McShit on a bun sammich you ate at lunch? Why not make more brown fat to battle it in your sleep, then? Via a nice chilly slumber? Indeed, the key to burning just might be freezing in bed. Our whole perspective on adipose altered a bit when we learned that not all fat’s bad. We suddenly had to learn that while white fat still is.. Read More