Sorcery: HTF are these worms floating?

I’ve long said the forest is magical… …but I wasn’t expecting the worm version of some Harry Potter shiz as soon as the weather warmed. Somehow, I don’t recall seeing these things this time last year. But then again, that might’ve just been because I was too preoccupied with doing a complete and constant, frame by frame while in motion, optical securing of the perimeter to make sure there weren’t.. Read More

Mothman prophecies on Floridian poison “puss caterpillar”

Do you live in Florida? Have you seen this guy? Authorities warn: do not engage this individual should you encounter him. Although the furry fish-like land sliding creature may educe from you coos of “Awww. I wanna pet”, science strongly suggest you refrain from acting on those feelings. Despite the seemingly inviting dog-like exterior on this particular caterpillar, one stroke of its coat would land you in the kind of.. Read More

Real life nightmares: egg baby spiders all over me

Author’s note: It took me a while to share this horror show ’cause I didn’t wanna believe it had actually happened. #neverforget Stretching after a nice nature-y run last week, I stopped and felt something. On my leg. Something crawling…. No, wait. Keep your popcorn up. It gets worse. I look down and see this pinpoint sized barely-visible reddish-brown dot skating across my sweaty dermis like Nancy effing Kerrigan. But.. Read More

Bugs and bubonic plague are all up in China.

Ya know… back in my day… “Black Death” was a hyperbolic way of making excuses. Avoid a second date. Play hookey. Avoid a second date playing with a hooker (she should have said she was “in transition” the first time). All around, it was a nice way to say “I’m not really ill with anything – much less an ancient plague – but the idea of going out with you.. Read More

DEET is D.T.S. – Down to snuff (bugs, not you).

You know, I never looked at what was in mosquito spray when I was little. But if I’m being honest, the smell of it actually brings back happy memories of playing outside as a kid. (Much like how I haven’t eaten meat for a long time, but still get this nostalgic excitement when I smell steak sizzling away on someone’s barbecue). But as I got older and made it my.. Read More

GnatNado is gross but Mother Nature’s been worse

Is it old news if something happened last week and I’m just learning about it? Like a mosquito twister, for instance? Because I feel like a funnel cloud comprised of flying vampire bugs isn’t something that loses it’s lustre on the info front. We need to know about these things and teach them at church – right between communion and the handing out of pitchforks and torches to defend the.. Read More