You’ve probably heard what’ll happen if Yellowstone’s super volcano blows, right? Most seem to think that if it “erupts” (I’m making air quotes – you just can’t see them – ’cause it’ll be more like a full on explosion), then we’re over like Brad and Jen when he met Maleficent. Done. Impact winter. Covered in ash, and slowly freezing to death under an atmospherically dimmed sun. “Dim Sum?” No, not.. Read More
There’s microbes in your micturition (that means pee!)
Do you love to drink pee? -“Duh.” In my perfectly coddled world of blissful ignorance, I’d like to believe that no one has to ingest their own piss, ever. But what if we’re stranded like Joe Dirt and try survive Grylls style? Is the tinkle drinking adventurer trustworthy enough for us to follow his leaky lead? Also, there’s that compartmentalized closet in the bowels of my brain reserved for the.. Read More
Holy intstellar internet timesink, Batman
As I sat sunning myself yesterday, my foot began throbbing. It’s my own fault. My cardio form has been so bad, I imagine I look like some flaccid Gumby push puppet when I take to the treadmill. My tendency to fall into a woe-is-me wallow moment was curtailed when I realized no one was there to cry to. Even my dog was throwing shade at me from the shady spot.. Read More
70 foot ice-drop vs. 127 hour desert-trap
When 127 hours came out, I thought, “What if social media were around back then?” I tend to think the real Ralston would have tweeted those selfie snaps he took – or at least updated fellow Facebook canyoneers about where he was headed had networking sites been around. Somebody that egotistical (as he shames himself for) doesn’t perform random acts of badassery just to keep it to himself. You share.. Read More
Fly the fecal skies!
“…and remember YOU’LL BE FLYING IN A SHIT MISSILE!” My dad always closes his unwelcome pre-flight “itinerary emails” with some version of this phrase. And while it’s true, it’s just one of those things where you’ve heard it so many times from the same person that it simply loses its meaning. Thus, you finally disregard the advice altogether because the person firing it at you in all caps is annoying.. Read More
Artificial giggles
The results are in. And we’re sorry to inform you your laugh is… fake. And you’re not fooling anyone. Well… less than half the folk, anyway. A study collecting 18 f’real and 18 faux recorded chortles was recently done. Subjects listened to audio clips of each – trying to discern which giggles were legit. 63% of time, people could tell. And while that sounds about as intuitive as flipping a.. Read More
Jellyfish juvenescence
Science says: No need to feast on adolescent girls to look youthful anymore! (Sidebar: Someone remind me to do a Dark Disney Part 2 including the incestuous OG version of Rapunzel? Kaythanks) Yep. According to recent research, a new sea creature might just be our answer to eternal youth. It seems a certain jellyfish (Turritopsis dohrnii) is capable of immortality. Whenever this species of transparent sentient gelatin gets injured or.. Read More
Complaining in the rain
Why the perpetual excitement about what the sky’s doing? I don’t mean you or me. I mean the guy on a green screen who lives in my light box. Today’s haphazardly delivered report was almost exactly this: “Today’s going to be.. well… I mean compared to tomorrow, it’s gonna be much… Actually… (insert all too familiar sigh of someone giving up on life)… it’s …It’s pretty bad right now.” (camera.. Read More
Nature’s oddities: Beach Barf
Excited about imminent vacation? Well, don’t marvel at that vast azure sea in too much wonder. ’cause Kurt Cobain was right. Mother nature is a whore – a whore of the shores. Like the aqueous lovechild of some Odysseyean whirlpool and a fortune cookie, the ocean’s been vomiting a plethora of treasures onto sparkly sands willy nilly – ranging from legos to leg-bottoms. (“…and that’s how ginger fish really got.. Read More
The MIT Crowd.
So, the MIT guys have made a universe they can try “turning off and on again” This new supercomputer they’ve conjured up is making the concept of the Matrix seem totally possible, as it’s replicated pretty much the whole universe. From electrons to elliptical galaxies, they’ve thought of it all. The program, called “Illustris” (which only a universe replicator could be so simultaneously arrogant and deserving to call itself) serves.. Read More