So, McDonald’s is losing money. No, not dead, my loves. Not yet. But it did take about a 4.7% kick in the cheeseburger buns this year, which has led to them taking some serious action. Some seriously counterintuitive, doesn’t-make-sense, action – by removing a bunch of stuff from their menu. It’d be more like downgrading from five types of the same burger to just one. I mean, it sounds good.. Read More
Timex for your ticker organ, anyone?
They say that time mends a broken heart. But soon, a time-keeper might be able to as well. (Such an OG genius he doesn’t need a big hand or little hand.) My little mind was just blown a moment ago as I thumbed through this SciAm piece on pacemakers (ya know the thing that keeps grand pop’s life organ gushing survival oil to all his various bits of body?). Because,.. Read More
Dude demolishes home trying to propose. Chick still says “yes”.
What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever done in the name of love? This story about a Dutch dude’s proposal fail (that I’m just now seeing after, like, a week) may just take the wedding cake. Armed with more good intentions and money than numbers in his I.Q., this guy hired someone to help him carry out the dumbest proposal ever. His plan was to suspend himself from a crane in.. Read More
Self-forgiving: cure for procrastination? Or a procrastinate-y cure?
Am I watching science news here? Or an episode of Soul Pancake? Recent research is claiming that when it comes to tasks like test preparation or deadline meeting, we may not be able to salvage that “too late” point between something like a professor’s announcement and exam – but what we can do is improve our chances of not setting a screw-yourself-over precedence for the future by eschewing self-flagellation. And.. Read More
Dr. Oz is not the cause of your probs
“We’re off to buy prescriptions! Prescriptions from T.V. doc Oz! Because because because because… E-ver-y-body else does!” (Ya know, instead of that suggestible marionette meatwad ya got in there?) I may sound like I’m slamming Dr. Oz here, but I’m actually about to do the opposite. Seriously, did he refuse to join the illuminati or something? ‘cause homeboy’s been under some serious fire of late with all these stories popping.. Read More
Kim Jong Un’s the Grinch who stole Christmas – starting Franco’s film.
So, Kim Jong Un has officially ruined my Christmas. “The Interview”, which was about to be released on Christmas Day has been scrapped (along with some other Steve Carrell film that no one cares about as much). And my heart is broken. There aren’t many movies I look forward to seeing, but this was one of ‘em. All because of a little boy in an emperor’s clothing who can’t take.. Read More
Residential revenge
Are all apartment complexes this bad? Or have I just gotten chronically un-lucky the past five years with loud upstairs neighbors? And random fees? You may be right, my friend. But not before a rant. Starting with the neighbors above: The last lot had a buncha kids rolling in every afternoon like a herd of ADHD elephants being chased by cheetahs. They remained there for a good time, smoking weed.. Read More
Buylimia is the new bulimia.
Sometimes, when I start to get bored of my privileged life, I generate first world problems. “I’m too comfortable to get up and pee…Ugh.” “I don’t wanna shower ’cause I’ll be cold for two seconds before I can towel off. Ugh.” “I have to press a button on the wall to cool down in summer…Ughhhh.” “My parents care about me too much… YES, I got here safely. UGH.” “I wasted.. Read More
Six target gifts to seriously consider
Is your santa sack still empty like mine is? I’ve literally not bought so much as gift wrap yet, so I’m glad I stumbled across a few fun ideas online today. As ever, though, I got caught up in the novelty section of Target’s gift shop while searching for serious gifts people won’t hate me for getting. And being the kind Christmas-spirited person that I am, I took a moment.. Read More
Don’t park or fart next to me.
So, I saw this little cartoon today: And while I can’t literally relate (inasmuch as I haven’t learned how to mold my femme flesh into a funnel just yet for the purpose of relieving myself while standing upright), I can relate on a “personal space” level. I think everyone can. Not terribly long ago, I wrote about that new something-awful trend of dudes taking up space on the metro train… Read More