Ah… the old familiar feel of carbon monoxide fume intoxication taking over. The coffee in your tummy, sloshing to and fro from the stop and go. The “I’mma be late” induced heartburn. Just another typical morning commute. And to make matters worse, you’re stuck behind one of those annoying Dunbar vehicles, wondering what fraction of the cash inside that mothertrucker it would take to solve all your first world problems… Read More
Why are you so fat? Stop being so fat.
What do you think when you see a flock of well fed fellow Americans waddle into the mall? After having parked in a handicapped spot? Let’s be honest. The first thing our brain’s gonna say is, “Wow.” Then, the second thought would be, “I wonder how big the mess would be if that got hit by a semi?”. But the third thought might just maybe be, “I wonder if that.. Read More
Internet catcall comments IRL: has this been done yet?
On the heels of that “woman walking and getting catcalled” video, I’ve got another idea. One that’s like at least ten percent less serious: internet catcalls on the street. I mean, we’ve all thought about how much worse “harassment” is online than the kind we do IRL, right? It’s the reason people issue restraining orders and bullied kids end up tying nooses from the hanging plant hooks on the ceiling.. Read More
Turning 30: Don’t settle for second best. OR second puberty.
I look for any excuse to laugh. That’s why when I saw this College Humor video on turning 30, I had a good guffaw or two – if nothing more than for the “you’re being punished for joy!” comment and the fun supplemental animation. I’m a sucker for creativity and sarcasm. Especially when it applies to my cohort group. Post by CollegeHumor. But as ever, I’ve some yes-and’s (more like.. Read More
Last minute halloween costume…
It’s a little late, but… Maybe I will dress up for Halloween after all. I mean, just to answer the door to the neighborhood brats and pass out candy. But mostly, it’ll be so that I have an excuse to design a badass costume that combines pop culture with my fave Tarantino character. This genius idea came to me today as I ruminated meditatively during the morning hours, while inundating.. Read More
Filthy Princess: Part 2
(…continued from last blog.) Many a man still likes to think we womenfolk are princess-esque. Clean and pure. Waking with Bambi holding our coffee. But all it takes is a bit of seclusion from society to turn us into the LOTR creature. Here are 16 more signs you’ve become a reclusive princess o’ filth: 1. Your pets adopt the same moods as you – on cue. 2. The transformation between.. Read More
Filthy Princess: Top 10 signs you’re a recluse.
“You’re beautiful,” a friend told me recently. “You’re beautiful too!” I replied. “No, men aren’t beautiful. We’re vile, filthy creatures.” It’s not the first time I’ve heard this misguided belief system about women being comparatively clean and pure. And I can’t speak for other ladies. But if you think we ovary vessels are all Snow White and silken sheets… Welp, I’m not the droid you’re looking for, sweet prince. You.. Read More
Spotlight on V. Scott – how an open mind closes in on goals
It’s amazing what we can accomplish, keeping an open mind while acting on passion. Wanting to make a difference might start with something already awesome like this: (Coat for the homeless that transforms into a sleeping bag and carrying bag.) But as it gains momentum, the same sentiment that inspired the coat can lead to changing lives on a mass scale. And that’s exactly what Veronika Scott of the Empowerment.. Read More
Whoreloween nostalgia and toys I want
I used to enjoy Halloween for the obvious early-twenties, collegiate tramp reasons: It was really my favorite. A free pass to do what I did anyway: getting sloshed and dressing skeazy. Back then, I couldn’t tell you why I enjoyed the mix of spooky and slutty so much. But I assume it had to do with Elvira – that one T.V. host who was like Morticia Addams channeling Pam Anderson… Read More
Root for the villain: Kevin Spacey. I mean Frank Underwood.
“I think we should just elect Kevin Spacey to office.” (Mmyes… I’m listening). “A lot of people would support him and he seems to have a good handle on it.” Sold. This very wise comment was issued to me from a friend and fellow House of Cards watcher after I’d made some (probably really solid) reference about what I assume was murdering people for the greater good. Not one to.. Read More