As I was indulging my 90’s nostalgia, by melodically lamenting my loser status worthy of death, I wondered to myself, “Did Beck make this nonsense because they had a catchy tune they knew everyone would sing along to regardless of how ridiculous the lyrics are?” Then I got to thinking of some other songs lacking significance to sheltered pre-pubescent me. For example: Lakini’s Juice, by Live. Pepper, by Butthole Surfers… Read More
Technology hacking your telltale heart… with vibrations
You know what weirds me out? It weirds me out when my dog or niece or random creatures with no language capacity know when I’m nervous. My niece cries when I’m anxious and my dog sighs when I sigh. Or – how about this craziness I never talk about – how empty plastic bottles in the other room all start popping when I try to cure that nervousness with some.. Read More
Movies I don’t plan to see: WorldStarHipHop
Russell Simmons is super cool. What I like about celebs like him are how they bring an element of relatability to spirituality for us unspecial folk. He does yoga. He meditates. But unlike some of the stars I’ve witnessed go through a superficial metamorphosis, it’s not like he just fckks off his whole identity to move to an ashram or change career titles to “aghori sadhu”. He follows that old.. Read More
Macaque copyrights: workarounds David Slater should try
Copyright laws are a bish, aren’t they? Some people “transform” their public images or careers by being a bit blatant with plagiarism and some just get effed over hunting down media to insert into a news site without butthurting Getty. It’s understandable that people want money, though – especially if they waited in the streets of a concrete jungle for a celebrity to emerge from getting her ass douched. But.. Read More
Nude yoga: my body is ready
Ready your bodies, we’re doing naked yoga today. No, no. I mean – a friend recently posted something about a chick doing it. And that was after another friend posted a video a while ago about its benefits, too. (Unintentional troll alert: Before any hetero readers who aren’t chicks get too excited – they were both dudes.) But I sense some of your “right top x button” trigger fingers getting.. Read More
4chandy Warholism: screencaps are now art.
When I heard a computer screenshot sold for $90,900, I thought it was a hoax. Or maybe some super scandalous evidence of a post that’d been deleted by a celebrity or high ranking public official who had more money than grey matter, forgot the internet’s written in ink, and believed they could buy back digitally indelible commentary in order to erase it from reality. Nope. True to form, however, my.. Read More
Seven minutes to heaven (if you jog the whole way)
A news bit I watched recently on longevity asked the question: “If you could extend your life by three years from jogging, would you do it?” That depends. How much of those three years do I have to pay in jogging? This already sounds like one of those deals with the built in fees or a net lottery win of five dollars after the government took the other million. As.. Read More
Battering roommates for a breakfast of baked goods
Chips ahoy! Set sail for hell! Because that’s just where you might be speed boating to if you’re as unlucky as this 49 year old lady who got caught by her 23 year old roomie with an open package of sweet snacks in the A.M. Upon entering the kitchen they shared, the dude with whom she lived observed the savory forensic evidence – an opened cookie container with three of.. Read More
From Russia with “love entertainment”: banning backsides backfires
I’ve always loved reverse psychology. People want what they’re told they can’t have. And you can totally use this to your advantage, if you’re smart. Which is why I don’t get why – if you’re a government who doesn’t want people to ingest a drug or sexercise a certain way – why you’d make that thing illegal. We’re little kids imprisoned in adult bodies. If you hide the cookies in.. Read More
Walking Dead S4: comments, complaints, and spoilers.
It’s getting harder to binge-isode my formerly favorite shows. I get bored and nervous. Then I start thinking of everything else I need to do. Then comes the stress eating. Then I start stabbing the mormons who come to my door because they have that look in their eyes that says “I’m not really alive”. So, generally, I avoid more than an episode or two at a time. That said….. Read More