So, this impoverished Brazilian chick wants to sell her virginity because she thinks it’ll make a lot of money: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUcyhqEwwj0 Not since Black, has another Rebecca had quite as much attention – both on Youtube and riding on her red bicycle through town (like some symbolic scarlet letter) while the townspeople throw coins at her. *Cue to bad joke about collecting the coin bullets, if she’s as poor as she.. Read More
You Can Ring My Ball…
Okay, we need to settle this once and for all. Is it “Bringing” in the New Year? Or “Ringing” it in? I have a theory: A series of dingbats somewhere, long ago, were put in charge of making New Year’s a huge televised spectacle. One of them was supposed to construct a giant bell, so that it would be a literal “ringing in” of the new annual cycle. However, there.. Read More
Happy 100 Post Day to Me: The 12 bits of X-mas
So, I log in to this blog, to see that I am at exactly 99 posts: I contemplate making a joke about “99 posts and a bitch ain’t one”, but firstly, that would have been inappropriate because I’m almost always kind of a betch in my posts. Secondly, a “bitch” may not have been one of my posts, but a “ho” certainly was (or an e-pimper of one) via this.. Read More
Death-Mas to the Fire Alarm Puller
Pro-Christmas-nating: The act of putting off X-mas shopping yet another day when you don’t have that many days left to get said shopping done anyway. Well, Minnie had talked me into doing exactly this. So we settled for a family picture in some Christmas gear, cuddled, and watched the Deniro movie that launched a load of psychopaths to stalk Jodie Foster, attempt an assassination of Reagan, or send Bjork an.. Read More
With A Bang, Not a Whimper
I’m playing Marla Singer, and being “the big tourist” as I sift through my Facebook newsfeed, lurking out everyone’s theories and plans for end times. Not much longer, now! What time is end times? 11:11? Noon? Never? Anyway, instead of theorizing one way or another whether the Mayans had it right, wrong, or in between, I decided to entertain myself (and maybe you) with the top ways I’d like/not like.. Read More
Today’s English Lesson
This just in: Facebook is more than a place to post pictures of your meals, to speak on causes about which you don’t really intend to do anything, or complain about lovers and general malaise in life (while third world citizens and modern slaves wish they could be so lucky to have the luxury of boredom topping their complaint list) Rather, its interactiveness actually allows for mass education: …and for.. Read More
Pain-ic
Social anxiety has always been a bit of an issue for me; but when I was younger, I realized that to keep friends, you had to cultivate friendships. That meant going out and being social. For a time (and with the right liquid courage), I found that going out and having a good time had its merit. As a girl, you get to get dolled up, dress cute, and accessorize.. Read More
Resorting to Bath Salts and Abusing Sleep Drugs
Sigh. One can only take so much suffering before they finally give into a world of illegal drugs, criminal behavior, and transvestite prozzies. That’s why I am instead going to try to mitigate my suffering before the downward spiral of agony allows that to transpire. This fine evening, for instance, will feature some perfectly safe Epsom salts added to steamy hot bath (the non zombie bath salts), augmented by my.. Read More
New Modcloth Purchase
I’m pretty pleased with my new modcloth purchase! Classy and clinging in all the right places, this number reminded me of the one Marilyn donned in the bonvoyage scene of “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes”. Naturally, I had to get it, and was glad I did. With a 5’6″ physique I’d describe as a squooshed hourglass (bit of a bust, wide/bony hipbones, and small waist – but a really high waist). Even.. Read More
Ish Girls Say
Ish Girls Say… From adolescence to adulthood, those passive aggressive remarks women make seem to have followed. It’s as though we’ve matured physically only. Yes, I say we because I’m sure I’ve fallen into the routine of gossiping and being just as bad at one point or another. I don’t know a chick who hasn’t at least occasionally. Even that one seemingly perfect non-instigator you think you know or work.. Read More