My brother sent me a video clip of my niece the other day. “Great, Ashley. You’ve successfully bored me with the first sentence. Well done.” -Someone in the audience “Aw, c’mon. Give her a chance!” -Someone I planted in audience fully expecting that’d be said A chunky ball of glee and fat yet, she’s maybe a year and some change. And – in the video – as she lost balance,.. Read More
Every parent needs a copy of this Steinbeck letter.
I’m in love with this letter Steinbeck wrote to his son about love. The backstory’s that his eldest boy, Thom, wrote John when he was still in boarding school, sharing that he’d just fallen in love with a girl called Susan. Defending his newfound soulmate, he told his pops it wasn’t just “puppy love” and that he wanted the fam to meet her. His dad (being an artist armed with.. Read More
Your bully revenge makes me want to bully you.
Okay, I don’t wanna “bully” this chick. But grow the fluff up. The background is essentially this: Dude was mean in middle school to her, they end up at the same college, he asks her out to dinner, and she stands him up after giving the waitress this note to hand him: That’s not bad, but the whole bit with posting it to the internet, all “look what I did!”.. Read More
Once upon a Saturday….
Once upon a Saturday …(around the time Cinderella and I both turn into a pumpkin)… …I was putting my socks on… A six-year-old’s feet: Her: “They almost fit!” Me: “Yes, they do! My feet are pretty small – but not as small as yours.” Her: (Sigh) “I guess that’s part of growing up, am I right?” Let me backtrack for some context here: A friend of mine had been called.. Read More
Inked and pincushioned kids
By sophomore year of high school, everyone was getting exotic piercings and tattoos. The former option excited me – until my friend Kim got an infection in her tongue ring barbell and my other friend’s belly button ring got infected. I had a conundrum. Could I get illegally stapled by some Sons of Anarchy looking dude across town in a musty shop where the smell of last night’s after party.. Read More
Technology toddlers: how soon’s too soon?
During the four or five years I worked in a healthcare field, I’d see all kinds of parents. Managing their small and bored kids as best they could, in all kinds of ways. As these moms (usually moms, but sometimes dads) managed to squeeze my medical place of employment into their day between PTA and soccer practice and work, I always found it really considerate when they also managed to.. Read More
HHHwhat? (Hearing impairents)
Talking with elderly parents is like the end of that one Geico commercial. “Who?.. WHO?!” But actually, it’s not a non-wise dementia thing. It’s worse than that. They’re still both sharp as can be – but maybe too proud to go ahead and get the auditory assistive devices they need that’d stop them from asking everyone to repeat themselves (“Who?! Who?! WHO!!!1”) every time we have a conversation. What is.. Read More
Middle school haircuts… with a purpose.
To my ladies: ever cut off your own hair as a kid? And then your mom yelled at you all the way to the hairdresser? Who subsequently fashioned the top of your head into the tip of a penis? I was going to hunt down an actual retro-me photo, when I happened upon this near-doppelganger film still of Jim instead. I shitchya not – there’s a photo of me at.. Read More
Nutty mother brings snatch shaped cookies to second graders
Oh, now this is just good fun. So, a mom walks into a second grade classroom-… (This sounds like it’s gonna be a bad joke, and I wish it were only that.) And she hands the teacher a plate of cookies, saying she thought she could “educate them on the vagina”. To teacher’s shock and awe, she looks down to see a variety of vaj genres – there’s everything from.. Read More
Applied psych: keeping fammy secrets vs. Kendra Wilkinson approach.
Wow. Mindblowing story in a retro Psychology Today issue on “little detectives” – kids who uncover their parents awful lies, secrets, and scandals. It also reminded me about this Kendra Wilkinson story that popped up on Facebook the other day (more on that down the page) and made me do a mental about-face about the concept of sharing hard truths with your kids (versus keeping family secrets). It’s comforting to.. Read More