Ya know, depending on my mood, I can sometimes be a real douche on here. I’ll lightly mock celebrities and disperse low level subject matter into the minds of my poor unassuming readers. In my defense, my intentions generally start out all well and good (to entertain, if nothing else), but sometimes they get twisted, and if it makes any of you ever feel anything other than a grin spread.. Read More
Dummy delinquent: car thief vs. building.
I’ll say it once more, and with feeling: If you’re gonna do a crime, do it right. Maybe you’ve read some of my other posts, and you already know I have one rule about committing crime: only do it if you’re smart enough to do it successfully. If you’re counterfeiting bills and putting them into circulation of the Taco Bell you own, then know how to play your employees better… Read More
5 things I saw this week that might make you cry laugh.
Are you consumed with a contagious case of the Mondays? Well if you weren’t such a seriousness slut all the time, maybe you’d not have contracted it. Shhh shhh. It’s okay, though. I’m here to help with an antidote ready in hand. So before you carry on with your day – infecting everyone with your emotional AIDS – let’s pause and take an intravenous comedy shot together: 1. This dog.. Read More
Lazy and Afraid in the literary wilderness
Sometimes I find myself lapsing into lazy, noncommittal, or masked language. And I hate it. Know what I mean – by “lazy” language? No? I don’t just mean a hashtag you’re not even using sarcastically. I mean replies like “LOL” when I’m not really laughing (which – if we’re having a real life conversation – might be a quiet, “that’s so funny…”). Or it might be: “Oh that’s cool.” I.. Read More
Quora queries: “How can I accept that I’ll never be a genius?”
I have to confess. I tried listening to an “Increase your I.Q.” guided hypnosis last night. And when I didn’t wake up any smarter, I had to ask myself: Is it because I’m hopeless? Or because my ipod died after I wasn’t intelligent enough to think about charging it before bed? Or maybe that I’m doing everything except what people who wanna be smarter hafta actively do? My answer came.. Read More
Quora queries: Can you learn from stupid people?
I like Quora. I signed up exactly one point one million years ago and never used it because I was afraid people would comment reply telling me what an idiot I am and what right do I have to have an opinion. However, as I enter my golden years and start seeking out a nice nursing home in which to slowly to die, I feel it’s time to draw on.. Read More
Daily dare: try not to laugh at this dark comical commercial.
Hold on. Just wiping the laughter induced tears away for a moment. Alright. Now that I’ve collected myself, I’m just left a bit confused. Because my first laugh of the morning award – a video commercial about “staying in school” that was posted by a friend – brings to my mind almost as many questions as it did smiles to my face the first five times I watched it. The.. Read More
Binge watch absurd TED talks? Challenge accepted.
I’m not the only geek who loves seeing TED talks. But I may be the only one who binge watches their more comically toned ones. (Today’s marathon – brought to you by the Youtube sidebar). After finishing the spoofed out improv bit that trolled TED attendees (and then the interwebs too by pretending to be a real thing), I wandered on over to this one done by the dude who.. Read More
This improv TED talk is errrraythang.
I don’t know what I like better. This flashmob style staged TED Talk I just watched (even though it was done like two years ago) – or the heaps of people who are so bad at situation reading that they didn’t realize it was fake. Either way, I really needed this thing today and you might too. If the pure absurdity doesn’t get you (about the idea of dancing phantoms.. Read More
Bill O’Reilly tells black people how to win at being American
Alright, class. Let’s all start our day with a collective eyeroll. While watching Bill O’ Reilly via Russell Brand’s “Trews” (only way I can manage to watch Bill), I tried my hardest to get past his caustic manner enough to hear his actual message regarding his belief about the non-existence of “white privilege”. You can call things whatever they like. I won’t take offense to it just because the adjective.. Read More