Great news, you animal lovers! You know the hopes and dreams you had of running your own cartel across the border by the time your were 25? Well, just because you’re not blowing through bills like a behind-the-scenes billionaire in a villa, doesn’t mean you can’t live like them! Or at least pretend you do! Step 1: Ball like a mah-fugga. Step 2: Wed like a Christian: (where are they.. Read More
It’s all about the BenGenerativity, baby.
I’ll do better tomorrow. This is a lie I love telling myself when it comes to forking out funds. I don’t even know if I mean it when I’m saying it, or if I’m just trying to enjoy those few fleeting gleeful moments spent tossing my credit card at the Nordstrom cashier like she’s covered in glitter and her name’s Champagne. Mistake indeed. ’cause a few moment’s high is exactly.. Read More
BufFlora Bill
Well, I murdered again. Sigh. “Shrugs. Shouldn’t’a worn my bad-luck gardening gloves.” Seriously. Since I can’t keep anything that can’t bark alive, it’s a good thing I haven’t started my vegetable garden yet. ‘cause I STILL can’t manage to keep an effing house plant. Thus far, I think my best record’s probably been a week. And by a week, I mean a day and a half. Poor bastards. My mom.. Read More