3 ways McD’s Hamburglar is successfully manipulating you

Oh, lawd… McDonald’s reimagining of the Hamburglar is an even bigger fail than I’d anticipated. Yet, it’s going to succeed cuzza how they’re employing this giant wad of facepalm. McD's is after me (apparently, so is my wife)! Tweet #RobbleRobble to keep them off my trail. https://t.co/JBVThrmHir — McDonald's (@McDonalds) May 12, 2015 (I hate to encourage them by embedding this, but I reluctantly am ’cause it’s relevant) Because they decided.. Read More

McDonald’s resorts to sex to sell their slop.

Jesus, they’re really floundering, Mc-Dee’s, aren’t they? I mean, first it was the too-late all-day breakfast offer after a million and four light years of people begging for it and not getting it. Then, more recently, it was them suddenly jumping on that whole delivery bandwagon – beginning with a few New York locales. And now? Now they’re going after the affable cartoony characters – starting with the Hamburglar. Apparently,.. Read More

McDelivery: ’cause fat’s not enough. They want you lazy, too.

Ho. Lee. Shiz. I was kidding (kinda) when I said I wouldn’t be surprised if McDonald’s started to try their hand at delivering. But, indeed, it looks like the fast food carnival czar will be imminently making it even easier to infest your intestines with their grease-fests. Just like I prognosticated in a previous blog (when they finally relented and started offering all-day breakfast, which they’ve never been willing to.. Read More

The real reason McDonald’s is offering all-day breakfast

Everyone remember that scene from Big Daddy? The I-know-that-feel moment when they just miss the breakfast menu at the golden arched dinery? And can’t get their McMorning meal? And it makes everyone think “Yeah – how stupid! Why can’t we have hashbrowns and eggs all day?” Though I steer clear of the place now, I remember thinking the same when I was little and my mom would drag me off.. Read More

What I’d eat from McD’s (if I were 127 hours style starving.)

When a friend posted this… … I did what’s common for people like me: try to guess what they said, give up on guessing what they said, decide what I’d choose to eat at McD’s if forced to, and not read the article at all before commenting exactly that list to said friend. Said comment list went something like this: Haven’t read it yet – but these are the 5.. Read More

McMystery sauce now on sale for mere price of a private island.

Ah, the sweet and glowing golden arches. Sure, mayhaps that “M” stands for “McDonald’s”. But maybe it also stands for that “mystery mustard” of theirs. Or just… “money”. ’cause, now, if you have a lot of that last thing, you can get that middle thing from that first thing. And I do mean a lot. Specifically… $18,000. That’s right. The burger behemoth has finally acquiesced to the masses’ demands and.. Read More

Is Ronald McDonald feeding us fellow species members?

(Zing fish FTW.) Let’s pause. I’m not a fan of McD’s. It’s got Pennywise as its mascot and the bottom of clown satan’s pitchfork is its golden icon. And now that that’s been said, I can say this: I’m also not a fan of going along with shocking “news” blindly just ‘cause it aligns with my preexisting beliefs about crappy meals. Sometimes I’ll fall prey to my own brain trying.. Read More