Have I proven I’m ready for another dog?

Well, I’m in love. And I’m officially in a relationship. A sapphic, incestuous tryst of bestial proportions. Because I’m henceforth spoken for. By my fur-niece. Who I’m stealing very soon. (50 Sheds of White – the love story of home-wrecker and non-housebroken…) This bish genuinely thinks she’s a lap dog. And I just don’t have the heart to hold up the mirror like Elephant Man’s antagonists, and reveal her true.. Read More

And now for a very large dog. And a very large cat.

Well, it’s happened. A thought translated into vibrations in my vocal cords until it reached air, carrying intelligible significance. Just barely, tho. It was a quote from a car commercial. (With a slight tweak: “That’s not a real puppy… that’s too big to be a real puppy…” ) But you just might say it too, after seeing “Hulk”: This behemoth pit bull embodies that whole “big friendly giant” concept in.. Read More

Unsightly pup winner raises awareness

The winner for world’s ugliest dog is in. And this year, Peanut (who looks like a furry rage meme) won the contest’s highly coveted title. Even though we’re apparently so egocentric here in ‘murca that we dare to call it “World’s ugliest” (when no other nation’s actually compete in this canine competish of hideousness), I still think it’s effing adorable. And it makes my heart swell with equal parts glee.. Read More

#TBT Instagram: A Fluffy Doggy Tale

Today we celebrate #TBT with the summertime tale of Treat and Creature: Try as he might, Treat saw no escape. He had surveyed the immediate surroundings, but was cornered on all sides by padded pink walls. Now, he stood stoically as Creature secured him with one claw alone – rendering him completely immobile. She paused pensively for a moment, looked up at the Human (who had trafficked him here with.. Read More

I’ll have what you’re having…

Me: Put out food bowl for Minnie. Her: Looks at it, then me, then turns up nose, and lays down. Me: Put away bowl and make myself cup of soup 5 minutes later. Her: Looks frantically for food bowl like she’s Oliver Twist and I’m a horrible and neglectful owner. My Soup: Gets cold as I reheat up her dog food. Furry daughters always come first – even when they’re.. Read More

Rescue Dog Saves Owner

And now, for an entry on an entry: “Dog Saves Woman From Violent Sexual Assault”, reads the headline. To my delight, it’s about a rescue dog who (as one commenter points out), “Rescues her (his owner) right back” after she nearly get’s Bundy’d by some dude hiding in the bushes. Firstly: Good call on the Pretty Woman reference, but (secondly) as cute as this story is, don’t they say, the.. Read More