Bellybutton challenge: jokes on U.S.?

I thought things couldn’t get worse than the cinnamon and chili pepper challenges. But this latest finger-navel reach-around business somehow manages to be a universe and a half worth of worse. If it’s new to you, here’s an Asian celeb doing it: And this show off:

Get paid to join Tramps Anonymous

Ever wish you could put your boobs to work? Ya know – without having to strip, do porn, or sit under airplane seats serving as emergency flotation devices? Me too. But now we need look no further, thanks to a latest trend called “Tittygram” – a service that finally provides the answer for your lifelong question: “Where on the web can I send in a message I’d like to see.. Read More

Rent a dude who doesn’t even put out? Thx, no.

So, Japan’s got this new “boyfriend rental service” trending the web. And, I’m just wondering what’s so novel about this. Haven’t escorts always been a thing? Especially in pervy Japan, egg-layer of the Hentai genre? While I’ve got zero point zero plans of going to Japan anytime soon (unless Sofia Coppola comes along and documents the whole thing while a fun post-rock soundtrack plays in the background), I’ll admit –.. Read More

For better or gross: Thoughts on Dadbods ‘n Mombods

So, I was tagged in this post today about the rise of the “Dadbod”- asking for my opinion. So, I suppose I’ll sound off. The feather-ruffling essentially surrounds the whole double standard of how moms are expected to maintain an acceptable level of body karate, while “Dadbod” gets championed (beer belly, low maintenance, poorly manicured facial hair, and other miscellaneous things to add to the nitpick list). Ya know, like.. Read More

Let’s take a moment to thank god for this IG account.

Let’s all take a moment to thank God for the Instagram account that brought us this: *Sigh* Finally. A photo account called “Hot Dudes Reading” is a thing. It’s like a digital nerdy version of Playgirl (Is PlayGeek a thing yet? Can we make it one?) They’re not reading from some electronic steno pad device, mind you. They’re reading real, page-flippable books. And the more I look at these images,.. Read More

Woof wardrobe isn’t 100% stupid (say experts). But close (says me.)

When I was little, my mom would make me wear the most mortifying ensembles. Baubles. Clown suits. Ribbons with streamers. Dresses with shoulders that looked like cheerleader pompoms and felt like the pads the players they were cheering for wore. Mushroom hair cuts and thick awkward bangs. Tights and long sweatshirts. Poor fitting warm up suits that felt silly because I’d not yet myself been indoctrinated into the sports I.. Read More

SICK of you taking my mothaloving SPACE on this mothaloving TRAIN

I enjoy moving around. Stretching, yoga, gesticulating unnecessarily while talking. You know where I enjoy doing it? Where it’s acceptable and doesn’t infringe on folk. Usually. You read the room and process the acceptability level. Usually excluded from this list are crowded planes, trains, or automobiles. The reason for this is because when you’re splaying your limbs every which way around close-quarter strangers as you’re all being herded from point.. Read More

#poopingselfie: Not even once.

Shh, shh. It’s okay, internet. Don’t feel badly. This is what I’m here for. To remind you about proper cell phone etiquette – from public life to pinching a loaf. So, let’s review the latter today: Things that are acceptable to do with your phone on the toilet: – Check email with your horned rimmed glasses on. – Post a status to facebook about those super-cerebral ideas you get mid.. Read More

Plane passenger shaming shows you the faces of (recycled) oxygen thieves

“You don’t know what that’s touched! So you shouldn’t touch it!” This on-airplane advice I get from my dad all the time can now officially be met with: “You’re wrong. And you’re 100% right. Respectively.” Because now, thanks to a beautiful new trend called “passenger shaming”, I know exactly what my tray tables, seats, and headrests have touched. And it makes me wish I could fly while I fly –.. Read More

Fire challenge = gene pool cleaning up itself

Listen, everyone… I was kidding when I said let’s do a “Melt Your Face Off With Fire Challenge”. But before we get to the scorched meat and potatoes of world star hip hop, first some world-culture-context: One sunny day, not long ago, I sat perched in a waiting room and half-read this super sad article. It was about these teens who immolate themselves ($5 word! It means “set yourself on.. Read More