This just in from science: Taking birth control can make you crazy. Because it’s got extra of what makes you a woman in it. No, seriously. I’m on board with this. And hear me out. Think about it: as beaver bearing humanoids, we’re already destined for the genetic predisposition toward mental illness to begin with. That’s just our birthright. Our karmic reward for eating the serpent’s Granny Smith. I’m not.. Read More
15 job interview replies you should memorize
So… I’m interviewing for a P.T. job tomorrow. And I’ve already got the jitters. Naturally, I’m trying to curb it with some literary unleashing – to get my mind off any anxiety – and all I’m seeing is link after link about (what else but) interview tips. Everything from what they’ll ask to how to carry yourself to “make eye contact but not Christian Grey level eye contact”. So, in.. Read More
Ashley’s Asanas: 4 renamed yoga poses
Ya know, of the yoga docs I’ve seen, all the old Indian men say the same thing about Westernized yoga. Between the commercialization, the teachers traipsing in late – green drink in hand, and the mantras uttered in perfunctory fashion with nada background knowledge on what it actually means, we’ve lost the meaning of yoga. Lost it in transatlantic translation. The literal def, the big time spiritual OG’s will tell.. Read More
#FartRape is feminism’s new enemy
Okay, this article on “Can a fart be misogynistic?” is a little old – but still a gem. This Onion style spotlighting of “rape culture” gone wild, mutated, and blown outta proportion was like an intravenous opiate to all the painful parts of my soul. But it led me to wonder – though the piece itself is clearly satire – the feminist chick is very definitely not. So just how.. Read More
This toddler just gave me my next million dollar idea
In a few years, I’ll be thanking this few-years-old kid for making me a billionaire: But first, some context for my product to be: Okay, so you know how people buy ridiculously overpriced gym memberships and never use them? I think I’ve ranted on that before – in a previous blog – how people feel like if they fork out money, they’ll be held accountable to actually get off their.. Read More
7 makeup tips from a former dungeon captive
“What’s that on your face? Take it off!” As a blossoming young sixth grader, I was chastised the first time I attempted to apply my own slutty eye liner. “What else are you doing that I wouldn’t approve of?!” In retrospect, it was probably in part because I used the only thing I had – a melted mock makeup crayon from a princess play kit I’d dusted off from five.. Read More
Creative destruction: “The Wrath of Ash” collection.
You know, I’ve heard about “anger management” classes before. It’s a quaint concept, really. But as an artist, I’ve found something to be far more therapeutic than expressing my feelings in mere words to fellow sufferers. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not putting down anger management. It works beautifully for some – namely those who wish to curb their rage and mitigate the madness. Thus, I completely accept that.. Read More
Tips to spot a fake news story (before sharing it on Facebook)
Are you one of my friends who unwittingly shares fake news stories on Facebook? And feels mortified when you realize it obviously wasn’t true? You just didn’t read it carefully? (But a girl can try…) It’s okay. Shh… Shh…You’re not alone. I say this first because there are a lot of other idiots out there like you who don’t critically read. Second, you’re not alone because I’m mortified too –.. Read More
Make a Vegetable Garden With Me!
Where the hell is spring? Just kidding. It may not be leave-the-house-without-bringing-a-hoodie weather yet, but it’s not too bad. Sun’s out. Birds’re chirping. Third graders are outside, proudly puffing cigarettes in front of passing cars. S’nice. Sorta reminds me of dreams I’ve been fostering through frost of winter: erecting a vegetable garden in my parent’s backyard. It’d be something different, burn off some holiday adipose, and then help keep it.. Read More