Are you consumed with a contagious case of the Mondays?
Well if you weren’t such a seriousness slut all the time, maybe you’d not have contracted it. Shhh shhh. It’s okay, though. I’m here to help with an antidote ready in hand. So before you carry on with your day – infecting everyone with your emotional AIDS – let’s pause and take an intravenous comedy shot together:
1. This dog reacting to this hair dryer the same way I do to my alarm clock:
(In a way, it makes sense he’d keep doing this anytime it comes near. The sadistic person filming what the dog believes is likely the intro to a snuff film keeps removing it eventually. So he probably just thinks he’s making it stop whenever he transmogrifies into a propeller of fur, rolling eyes, and snapping teeth)
2. Celebrities reading horrible things about themselves:
(Why do I feel like Britney cried as soon as she got done with that laugh cover up? These are the best. But my favorite’s still gotta be the episode where that one street magician read a cruel tweet in reactionless monotone: “David Blaine looks like his voice is putting his face to sleep.” Being the joke is golden – if you’re actually laughing about it. Or over-the-top-drama-angry like Sandler does at the end of his bit. The “that’s all you got?” and cutesy J-Garner responses are kinda mood killers. Moving on.)
3. This cat who speaks perfect English:
(To be fair, we’re forgetting that Batman could make anyone speak in tongues once he employs that snarling, gravely dripping-with-testosterone voice of his. It might just be the catnip – which I definitely didn’t steal – that’s speaking, but I’m equal parts turned on and terrified.)
4. This exit from this reality show:
(This was a slow onset laugh for me… but now I still can’t stop. I’ve been doing a full on Rogen chuckle for the past minute and a half over this ridiculousness. And I still don’t know why. Is it because his titty’s jiggling like a Cosby treat? Is it because it reminds me of the Marky Mark scene from Fear? Or is it just because I’m pretty sure this is how 100% of non-Americans view 100% of Americans? And they’re not wrong? We’ll never know.)
5. And finally, this snap which is probably funnier for me right now than it is for you:
(Because it’s exactly what I looked like Saturday night when I agreed to babysit an actual human child. And regretted the decision immediately after the words “okay” left my mouth.)
Alright. That’s enough levity! Back to work, everyone!
Oh, that’s right. This is work.
#NoCaseOfTheMondaysHere