I’m hurting and half conscious when I float like a ghost into my morning physical therapy appointments.
So, when the tech keeps taking my purse and putting it on a chair or table, I never get why she’s doing it. And I never ask questions either – because I dunno why I always put it on the floor.
Yesterday I found out.
“PURSE ON FLOOR IS MONEY OUT THE DOOR”
I had some important stuff in there other than the usual credit cards, so I was a little more adamant when I said, “That’s alright, I’ll just keep it near me,” snatching it back and flopping it on the floor near where I was stretching.
Finally, my doctor-therapist-healer (who I actually listen to because he has magic), tells me about an Oprah episode where she said it’s “bad luck” to put a purse on the floor. He goes on to tell me it’s bad “feng shui” in that it “disrespects the money.”
I jokingly retort, “Oh, but it’s mainly a makeup holder anyway.”
Obviously, he was delighted by my hilarious sense of humor at 9 A.M….
(Note to self – no attempts at comedy before coffee cup number two.)
Anyway, so I’m laying immobilized by a modality on a table as he’s telling me this, and I thus have no choice but to let this concept mind-molest me for the next ten or fifteen minutes.
What’s the psychology of it? I wonder. Is it kind of like how they say cleaning your environment makes you appreciate what you have? Or how organizing your working environment makes your thinking more organized?
Oh, it gets better.
BAGANOMICS
I looked it up when I got home. Tangent to this idea is apparently that if the purse itself that you’re tossing around is messy or cluttered inside with receipts and crap, that means you’re a wasteful asshole.
Yeah. That makes sense – because if I don’t organize my proof of purchases in a timely way, it’s like I’m not acknowledging that I even spent money. And it’s a thing that builds.
One receipt on top of another becomes like one mistake on top of another until it’s one huge money monster mess in your mind. To acknowledge one, means I have to acknowledge all of them, which means I have to acknowledge my mismanagement of funds, which means I either have to stop mismanaging or get my thumb outta my ass, work harder, and earn more to support my Starbucks and Nordstrom habit.
And we all know: changing bad habits is hard – whether it’s apathy or anxious compulsions.
So, I guess the “messy purse” psychology extents to the budget.
CARELESS WHISPERS OF A GOOD FENDI
They also say that purse on floor reflects your carelessness. So in addition to being a douche with your dollars, you also don’t give a shit if thieves steal it.
I tried to think of my own motivation for purse placement at P.T.
Honestly, I think it’s because I spend the majority of my time there laying on a padded morgue slab or traction (more like sub-traction. Of my head. From my body. Zing. Moving on).
Because I’m not standing or seated, my vision is 98% ceiling tiles and 2% peripheral vision. So, having my purse on another table out of what little view I do have of it, seems less good than having it on the floor, right next to me.
But you can’t see it on the floor, either dipshit.
True. But here’s my logic:
PURS[EYE]CHOLOGY
The nice thing about developing a modicum of empathy, is that you can try to think like other people. Thieves for example. And when I think like a thief with a slight of hand and penchant for surreptitious purse pilfering while passing near, I’d think it would be much easier to reach into a conveniently elevated bag as I whisk by.
And if the purse is on the floor, I’d have to crouch down to access it.
And if I’m in a P.T. place, my joints probably aren’t in top form.
And that means a whole lotta patella cracklin’ when I kneel to steal.
And the victim will hear it.
CHANGE – NOT JUST FOR THE COINPURSE
The biggest concessions I have to make here are that the floor is indeed a filth-fest and I end up carrying whatever touches my bag around all day if I put it there. That is careless. The other concession I hafta consider is how shitty I am financially. The cleaning and orderly thing is undeniably linked to my psychological state. If I do something cleansing for my home or possessions, I feel more apt to keep caring for those things. Why would my portable credit card carrier be any different?
So, that I can mesh with.
As for the luck thing, though… I don’t doubt that there are manifold forces we can’t see with our eyes. Sixth senses and mystical realms. The field between us all that can be affected with energy we emit.
But I also believe our respective realities are what we’re most willing to buy into. Thinking reality has a big yard stick against which we can measure happenstance is way easier than, say, accepting that nothing’s good or bad in the absence of us perceiving it as good or bad.
That said, if we’re slipshod with our purses, it might be an extension of our careless nature. It might mean we’re bad at budgeting too. Or maybe we just know what’s effing best for our bags so get off them and get off ME. MMMKAY?
I’m at least 30% kidding- otherwise I’d not have written a novel about it. Seriously – it’s all food for thought and I have some changes to make, for sure. But when it comes to purse placement, I think I’ll go with another invisible power I can measure in naught but nausea levels and my own Kors variety of quantum connection:
My gut instinct.