THE GLITZ
Sara Ziff’s documentary, “Picture Me” gives us a glimpse into the world of modeling and shows us what transpires on the “other side” … of both the camera and the catwalk. Her boyfriend, Ole, is a film student; Thus when she wished to chronicle her journey through the world of the waify supermodel, he willingly took on the task – following her fashionista adventures through the multi-tiered land of glam, as shared by Sara herself, along with other miscellaneous models they met along the way … all captured on film.
Sara initiates with a brief back story of her successful and educated parents, one of whom is a neurologist.
“Modeling just kind of *happened* to me,” Sara admits, “I was stopped by a photographer one day who asked if I had ever modeled. I said I had not, and then that’s how I began my career…”
Although her parents had expressed concern regarding her decision to swap college for a go at modeling in her teens, her father admittedly states with a laugh, “It feels great!” when asked how it felt to have his daughter exceed his own substantial salary by figures whose disparities were significant from his own.
We get to see a few scenes of Sara enjoying the upsides of modeling: She giggles, entering a cab, passing through the bright lights of New York City. We see her traveling, the lovely clothes, the silly fun makeup tricks behind the camera.
And have you ever see this “wonder booty” at your local Maidenform? The panty with a “built in foam bum”? You might tease the silliness of it, but the supermodels actually use them in the fashion industry! It’s no secret that most models harbor stick thin physiques, but occasionally an outfit will require a little more “bump in the rump”, and these padded panties impart just that very “bootyllusion”. Sara giggles as she shows off the foam “bum” panties for the camera to see, prior wriggling into them under her flowy skirt.
Next comes the excitement of seeing her hard work on display. On the day her first billboard advertisements go up, we follow Sara, who walks with a purpose through the streets of New York with Ole. Finally, we come to a stop and peer upwards to view the “final product” – two adjacent billboards, the size of buildings themselves.
Sara gazes upward, only to see herself, standing tall and glaring right down back at her… and the rest of the surrounding city. She sheepishly jokes “I don’t even recognize myself… I look mean and pissed off!” Nonetheless, it is evident that she is proud of her work and enjoys that it has paid off. And who wouldn’t? She continues giggling as she saunters away.
IN THE MONEY
Equally enthralling was the receipt of her first big check. When she finally gets the envelope and slowly opens it up, we see her face do a 180 degree transformation into gleeful disbelief. Her jaw drops into a stunned smile, as she admits “It’s more than I expected!” A brief screen shot features a check for circa $80,000 – earned for just one modeling job with a highly esteemed designer.
Life is good, right?
“THAT GOES ON YOUR DEBT”
Juxtaposed against the not-yet-jaded Sara, is an interview wherein one model speaks briefly about some of the financial downsides she realized some time into her modeling career. The girl, although beautiful, looks admittedly tired and in need of a good night’s rest and a cucumber peel:
“I’ve been working for two years and I’ve been working hard, but I am in huge debt with my agency now because when they pay for your clothes, that goes on your debt, they fly you out to jobs – that goes on your debt. They pay for tickets – that goes on your debt. They hire a driver – that goes on your debt. Your apartment- that goes on your debt. They make copies of your book and send it out – that goes on your debt.”
Jokingly, she adds, “They pick their noses and *that* goes on your debt”
SEX IN THE INDUSTRY
A former model by the name of Cameron, also speaks of a past experience – a bit more jarring in nature, and one which left her emotionally scarred.
“It was on location, after dinner… we were at the hotel… the photographer got into the hot tub and I realized he was naked. I was really shocked, but got in the hot tub anyway because there were other people there too. But then he grabbed my breasts and shoved his tongue down my throat. I jumped out of the pool. He said ‘I’m sorry – are we not on the same page?’ I said, ‘I’m 16! You’re 45! Of course we’re not on the same page!”
At this point, Cameron tears up and departs from view of the camera.
Senna, another model, also relays to Ole one of her own sexual encounters. She seems a bit less affected by the explicit nature of her experience, but her manner indicates that such might just be a defense mechanism in order to retain emotional fortitude to continue working in the industry and justify her work to herself.
“I don’t want to name names,” she begins, “but I did have one experience with a well known photographer who is also known for being sexually inappropriate; It was a casting and my agent said ‘whatever you do make a great impression!’ He [the photographer] asked me to be sexy and take off my clothes which is fine – I have no issue being naked – but then he took off *his* clothes, which I thought was weird… I was like *he* isn’t being photographed; why would he be naked?”
After this point, Senna admits to having engaged in explicitly sexual acts on camera while the photographer’s assistant took photographs of them.
“The assistant said to me ‘Now, grab his c*ck and twist it! He likes it to be twisted! Hard!’ And I did it. And I got the job.” Senna pauses for a moment and adds, “But I turned it down. I felt badly enough for doing what I did and I thought… If the casting was this bad, what will I have to do on the actual job?”
NO REST FOR THE WICKED
As Sara sets into her new life, she starts to enjoy even more of the upsides. We get to see her move into her own place, carrying her pet pup into her new abode, and cozying up on her new furniture.
However, despite her new residence, high income, and seemingly glamorous life, Sara is working so hard that she is going on fumes at one point in the documentary. During one particular scene, shot after a continuous ten day marathon cycle of one photo shoot after the next, followed by an international flight, followed by a runway show, then another international flight, etc., she is absolutely knackered.
We see her, tearfully and tired, pleading with her agent via phone to take “just this one day off”. Her request to skip just one shoot for a day of rest, is met with much resistance by him.
Sara concedes to go do the job; However, it is easily evident that her once lovely complexion is currently a palette of pimples, given the fact that her skin hasn’t had a chance to breathe and be free of foundation since each job requires it. Imagine wearing your foundation for ten days in a row, and never getting to wash it off for a full night’s rest.
Clogged pores galore! And boy, did it show… The poor, lethargic Sara apologizes about her skin’s status to her MUA as she sits in the chair, preparing for the photoshoot, “I’m so sorry…I know it looks terrible”
MONEY CAN’T BUY…
….Happiness is something Sara begins to lose before too long. Performing photo shoots when exhausted is not uncommon; However her disillusionment with the industry seems to fall deeper during subsequent interviews.
In one such camera session, Ole inquires her about how she feels regarding her most recent check.
“For someone who just got a $112,000 check,” Ole begins, “you seem a little somber! Why?”
She replies,sleepily that she’d be “expecting” the check for a while. She also adds that some of her depressed demeanor is due in part to an introspective guilt for not having gone to college.
“All of my friends are graduating now and they have jobs,” she explains.
Still, Ole repeats how large the sum total of the check was, and stares at it in disbelief. And I’m with him. Try as I might, I just can’t fathom how earning more for one job than most highly educated rat racers do in a *year*, gets “old” – no matter how tired you are. But I suppose that is very telling about what the industry does to models – the fact that that much money doesn’t faze Sara by this point, says a lot in and of itself.
As some of the other models also agree during intermittent interviews backstage throughout the documentary, “you get used to seeing those figures…those sums” It doesn’t take long before the six digit paychecks become “old hat”.
Also, for those of us bordering the catwalk at a show, it’s easy to forget just how much goes on backstage. One model explains “Most don’t realize just how many people really are backstage preparing outfits, fixing hair, touching up makeup, changing clothes” For this reason, privacy is at a minimum, and Sara is none too pleased when *hers* is violated by a photographer taking shots of her while she is nude, in between wardrobe changes.
At the day’s end, Ole interviews her as she bathes in a tub, crying and explaining the discourse between she and the photographer:
“I told him to stop! Stop taking my picture please! He told me… ‘You may ONE day have the privilege of working with me’…” Frustrated and tired, she begins to weep at the thought of such things becoming commonplace should she continue in her current career.
What’s more, we start to see scenes of Sara sifting through other magazines at the local book stores. This girl who once grinned giddily at the sight of herself projected high above the Big Apple for all to see, now sneers at her own statuesque physique in the magazine she holds before her.
“I look awful here,” she says, “It super sucks. I don’t think my body looks good. I don’t think my expressions look good. I look stupid there”
From behind the camera, Ole tries to boost her confidence, asking “What’s wrong with it? You look good!”
Yet, this is a common “spell”, as Sara puts it, under which nearly every model eventually falls. They may enter the industry deeming themselves acceptable in weight and stature. However, as they progress through different jobs, the constant reinforcement of hearing that a given woman is too fat, short, dark, light, etc. is cause for a complex. And toward the end of the documentary, we can see that Sara is falling victim to that very “spell” as well.
“You’re not even a person,” explains one model, “You’re just a body and they talk about you as though you aren’t there – in third person – saying things like ‘Oh her ass is too fat for this job’ and then you personalize it and think, oh no. Is my ass really fat? Do I need to lose more weight?”
Ole asks in response, “Are most models unhappy with their bodies then?”
“Absolutely,” she admits, “It’s a constant competition for who can be skinnier. You can’t change being taller or not, so it’s a battle to be as skinny as you possibly can. Stick thin with no boobs is what agencies want; it’s how they want their clothes to fall when worn on the runway. Yeah… I don’t know *one* model who says ‘Yeah, I’m happy with my body; I like my body’…”
The documentary concludes with Sara remaining in the industry, but preparing to make the “next step” toward applying to college (which is interesting because before I began watching this documentary, I told my mom that if I had ever been a model, I would have put aside a savings account to fund college when I got too old to model anymore). Kudos to her for doing so.
As for me – a 5’6″ 20something with a “normal” build, I never really gave much thought to making a serious career out of modeling – I’m too short for runway , but even commercial print seemed like a commitment I didn’t want to make.
I realize there is some decent money to be made in modeling, but I knew it was just never for me. For those who *do*, I can understand why and how the endless work and tiring efforts might leave you feeling a bit empty. It’s not surprising that these women might feel a little more disenchanted a couple of years into their careers than when they began with stars in their eyes. I suppose such is the case with any line of work, though.
By the end of this documentary, you definitely have a renewed appreciation for this world that superficially parades under a glamorous and coveted facade. And while sometimes it is enviable, the costs are high indeed. Just remember, the next “Clean and Clear” commercial you see was probably shot while the featured model was going on two hours of sleep following a flight out from the end of Milan’s fashion week, and slathered in a plethora of foundation to cover a clump of carbuncles no cream could cure.
And, yes, I have always appreciated the fact that money can’t buy you happiness, or love, or whatever other emotional requirements there may be.
However, the day I treat receiving a $112,000 check in the mail as though it’s any other perfunctory activity of my daily living, please shoot me.
And I don’t mean with a Nikon. 😉
<3~A