“I hate you all! You TRICKED me! YOU LIARS”

“My stupid friend went telling my mom on me because she saw a post on facebook.”

“I am never talking to any of you again!”

“Why would a ‘friend’ choose my health over the fun loving me?!”

“I’ll go after ONE more hit… Just lemme have one more…”

Ahhh… Since the dawn of firewater and peyote, overindulgence has induced issues of equal magnitude then as it does now.

However, the difference between then and now is that the wonder of natural selection is being hindered. Thanks to rehab, nature can’t do its job by weeding out the losers who don’t really care about their lives; they reluctantly go to rehab, only to relapse.

It’s like a virus, too. You know how they say going to jail for a small crime makes you emerge a hardened criminal who has a PhD in hardcore crime? Rehab’s similar. I have had a friend who enjoyed a fun gateway which turned from coke to heroin to crack, all of which spanned about a decade.

After *that* fun trip, he landed in Del Ray’s rehab, met a girl who enjoyed a li’l crack herself. The two dated, introduced each other to new drugs they enjoyed, and later married. Now, sometimes, two people will be serious about quitting, and that is fantastic. However, since he was the second most pathological liar I’ve ever encountered, I know already that I’m going to hear about one of them in the obits soon. They use to this day: A match made in rehab.

Then, there are also those who just relapse and ultimately drain the bank accounts of their poor parents who were looking forward to spending said cash on their retirement and “golden years” for which they had worked so hard to obtain.

So, I give you the following Ash-original gem:

Just to confirm: For those of you who are idiots, and for whom I have to spell everything out, let me reiterate this is irrelevant to me; it was inspired by a hilarious conversation I had a few nights ago w/a new reading/writing E-friend. I hesitate to tag/call you out, B-Boy… but you know who you are 🙂

God, I hate explaining jokes.

Anyway, I’m not saying people don’t make mistakes. But, with respect to this, I’m big on the “one strike” idea. Try rehab out. If you fail? Eh, you tried. Do whatever you want until you get thrown into jail.

Well that – or until you end up six down.

xoxo
<3~A