Remember that one Cosby episode where he has the bad dreams?
Remember why he had the bad dreams?
In a wonderful tale where science and sitcoms unite, it’s indeed being shown that people who eat – anything (not just salami or whatever he nommed before bed) before bed – tend to have bad dreams. While hot ‘n spicy stuff do indeed tend to make for worse dreams, it’s generally just a full tummy that makes for some cray-cray REM. Thing is, we dream every night – whether we realize it or not. It’s just that when the dreams are more intense – specifically intensely negative – that’s we wake up bathed in our own salt water pouring outta our pores.
So, why?
Well, that REM sleep we have every night involves effort from the noggin organ. And when it’s gotta decide between allotting energy to dream state-ness or processing the contents of your belly organ… that shiz goes down.
That, sir, is what you get for eating fallen scraps.
When we eat, our body metabolism goes up and so does our body’s temperature. If you take all this exciting activity and voluntarily induce it right before bedtime, it might just bleed over into the behind-the-eyelids movies that are usually mundane. Since REM hits about 90 minutes into shut-eye time, this could also be around the time you wake up in a gaspy sweat like you’ve just come outta a cryogenic chamber. This is a tough habit to break because sometimes if I’m on the go, I’ll forget to eat until later when the day’s unwinding. Add on the fact that I dash a lil hot sauce to soup which I’m having late in the day, and that’s probably the literal equivalent to the concept of a giant wolf spider in my coffee cup. Nightmare fuel. (But I’ll take the literal bad dreams over the thought of eight legged satan any day. For the rec.)
I kinda like this explanache not because I’m super bothered by the nightmares – but because they contribute to the energy depleting punctuated sleep that makes me want to stay in bed forever like that sloth victim in Se7en who bites off his own tongue. And also, it finally is the answer to my 3 AM wake up dilemma.
(Other than that I’ve just been dropped back off into my body like a soccer kid by my alien abductors.)
So the rule is, don’t eat anything before bed – be it salami sammiches or J-E-L-L-O, lest you suffer mental horror all REM long.
