I sympathize with this woman – really.
The one who burnt the yoga studio down, that is.
I mean, if I’m paying a full $15 for a drop in visit, your ass had better not only leave the doors unlocked for me – tardy or not – but you’d better have a red carpet rolled out for me too. Instead, if I’m one second late to those mofo’s, it’s like some dark Poe tale meets a security breach scene with the bone crushing automatic sliding doors when they shut down the doors on me. And “shut down” is actually exactly why this bish committed arson asana. She tried to shut down the owner who was trying to bang her like the gong at the start and end of class. Why? ’cause he already had a chick. He was looking for a flexible side piece.
So, I get the immolation inclination.
However, I can’t help thinking that she either liked the attention she was getting or was looking for an ultimate excuse to unleash her crazy by staying and hanging around. Because, for me, when I do yoga – it tends to make me a bit more rational and able to sift through the insanity for more feasible, less illegal solutions. The urge to barbecue an adulterous hornbag’s place of business is definitely still there; don’t get me wrong. But, the thing about doing yoga (correctly) is that you catch a secondary wave – one of empathy (“Aw, what about all the other employees working here? And that nice lady whose Lululemons are always covered in cat hair and rancid perfume? Where will she go now? What if this is the only time she leaves the house and her soap opera stories?”) Granted it’s douchey to try’n downward dog a student – much less when you’re already spoken for. And, granted, her solution is also the first thing that comes to my mind too. But, for someone who does that much mat work, you’d think at least one’a the following five do-no-harm (that’s a thing on a yogic path, I believe) things would’a popped up as peripheral “let’s try this instead” thought:
1.) Tell the wife (or girlfriend).
2.) Find another studio (it says they’d been bothering her for years – I assume that means she was going there for years.)
3.) Change your number (If they still bothered her after she left)
4.) Secretly record him hitting on her (and wait to tell his main squeeze till then)
5.) Report his ass to the higher ups.
Yet, I somehow don’t think any’a that occurs to someone who’s smiling like this after getting apprehended:
If that beaming mugshot doesn’t say “no regrets”, I dunno what does…
Maybe that’s ’cause she knows the wife knows by now – now that it’s public.
And that – as a result – he’s gonna spend every day of their marriage from here out wishing he’d died in that fire.
#DogHousePose