Hey kids? In the mood for Methican food?

No, I’m not channeling Fez from my fave retro sitcom.

I’m talking about some real life Breaking Bad action – meth sold from a taco truck.


“Dude, we could just write Lose Pollos on the van, and sell it straight outta there”

Indeed, some crystal kingpin decided that it’d be a wise idea to inject a bit o’ ice in Coloradoans’ crunchy lunch. Not a bad way to counteract getting catching the runs on the run (like you will if you eat tacos from any non-drug truck too) – so you don’t end up all constipated like some scene outta “Spun”. Well played, boys. But not well played enough. ‘cause DEA brought down the ring Monday – along with about seventeen ladies and gents who were employed to dole out and roll out.

Sidebar: Am I the only one who sees the following flash across their brain screen when I hear the term “meth ring”?

Ya know, I’d wondered if truck patrons had to do a nudge-wink secret password?

“I’d like my order to go…fast…”

As I read on, I wasn’t far off – apparently they did use furtive codes to order their junk.

“The brazenness of this ring was astounding,” said Colorado Attorney General John Suthers. “For example, customers could literally walk up to a food truck and order a side of meth with their taco.” Customers would place these special orders from the truck using code words such as “six pack” and “yellow cups,” documents allege.


As uncreative as the nicknames are, far worse was the name of the sting op. “Operation Cargo”? Could we be anymore boring? Conducted over five weeks, via wiretaps and probably snitch junkies they’ll throw to the wolves later instead of helping out, the po-po also recovered guns and cash along with their monumental meth heap that reportedly broke state records. I still wanna know, though – how does it take you five whole weeks to nail a crank truck? Especially when the teeth of every patron look like they’d fall out if they actually tried to eat a taco?

Or anything else?

Ah, don’t be upset, Pensatucky.

Taco Tuesday’s only the better part of a week away!

Not that that means anything for you anymore.