Sometimes, as my dog takes on that tranquil, faraway look I wonder:
Will anyone notice if I don’t pick up her shit?
And is she inwardly laughing at me when I do? Does she reminisce? Plan? Get sad? The concept of canine consciousness came to me recently. My baby niece (yes, I compare people to pups) has started looking at her reflection and I wonder if she already recognizes that fetching phenotype staring back.
One big test science dudes do to determine self-awareness (and early intelligence) is putting something on a kid’s face, planting him in front of a mirror, and then seeing if he touches it once he realizes he was created by two assholes.
People do this with some animals in captivity too.
But it doesn’t take reading a fifty page PubMed study in font size 2 to get that you can’t generalize in any species. My sister’s pitt sits in front of the mirror, posing all day in between licking where his balls used to be. He’ll profile and he’ll do the Dougie in solitude – all the while locking eyes with himself. If my dog’s sat in front of a mirror, she won’t acknowledge her reflection. The only shit she’ll give is a literal one of excitement – if I suddenly appear behind her with a leash.
Much like infants who all learn at different rates, maybe it’s the same with animals. But the mirror’s a bad measure for “me” awareness. Not every animal responds to imagery. Some sense “others” by their scent, and some by their sound.
Less lazy folk have actually studied this stuff and seem to agree: territory and ownership seem to be key consciousness factors for most animals like my dog: “My bone”. “My piss.” “My ass that you’re smelling.” Some may be more self-conscious than others, but they mostly get that the asshole basset hound next door is a separate entity and the majority seem to have more of a “mine” sense than an “I” sense.
Lucky bastards. To be unburdened from an ego would make life so much easier. No wardrobe choices. No hair salon. No wellspring of witticisms to maintain. No regret or embarrassment. Maybe they are all aware, but they just aren’t vain like we are. They get that while we occupy this area of meat and conduct these limbs around, we’re all pretty much the same when it comes to the shit that matters – like helping each other out:
So much for the “no shame” thing.