After falling in love with Sia all over again (see: Elastic Heart), I couldn’t help but feel that familiar judgment twinge when I heard one of the tunes on her newest CD recently. Yes, I’m late to the game. But the first time I got an auditory gander at the whole shebang was in my car. Only the CD player works, so a friend and I were flipping through the random tracks and giving them all a listen. Even the ones you’d never willingly buy on itunes where you’d do it cafeteria style instead –skipping over the close up stuff that’s probably been sneezed on, and digging your scooper further toward the back buckets.

Among the already-been-chewed food music choices there was this gem:

After listening twice, it was decided:

This is the best grand theft audio of ‘Halo’ I’ve ever heard.

To be fair, it was more like three times. Because I couldn’t sort out which Beyonce song this sounded identical to – except sped up. And, honestly, part of the reason my brain refused to cooperate with my snarky intentions was because… well… it’s better.

Can you deny it?

Yawn.

I mean it wasn’t always “yawn” level – but it’s kinda like when I post my best bound eagle pose on social media, and then that one yoga bish who shares all my mutual friends posts one right after me and gets a larger rain of applause in the form of digital heaven-pointed thumbs ‘cause she’s strung her clavicle through her taint. t’aint fair. But I do fully realize and respect that that’s life. Samesies with miss wig o’ platinum epicness – versus Bey’s first version. Ex-Destiny Child’s destiny was obvi to create a good jumping off point for this far better thing.


“Beyonce… Imma let you keep stealing in a minute… but SIA had the best melody larceny of ALL time…”

That said, two thieves don’t make originality. So, clearly, I’ll have to see if the legal pop star wars have initiated here.

Hey, wait – what if they can’t find her… ‘cause of the whole face-cover thing she does?

Wait – what if that’s… why she does it?

So she can steal songs, improve them, and then avoid getting sued by having no identity to pursue?

I mean, if that’s the case, I’m in love with her yet again – ‘cause that shit’s brilliant.