I once dated a dolt who never ever said he was sorry. The only justifiable facet of the fact that he could never admit being wrong or saying sorry, was that he really didn’t mean it. Ever. He literally thought that he was always right to everyone, everywhere. I never heard akin to “I’m wrong”, “You’re right”, or “I’m sorry” to anyone. Anywhere. Ever. Friend or foe. Family or Stranger. You get the idea. So I ditched the bastard.

What’s the bottom line here?

No, the bottom line is not “dump such an a-hole if you’re dating one”. I mean, you should, but the bottom line is, “don’t say you’re sorry if you don’t mean it”.

Why? Let’s face it: If you’re really crazy enough to think you’re always right, then you definitely aren’t sane enough to keep up the charade forever. You’ll keep holding in the “I don’t think I was wrong” or the “I’m not sorry” for so long, that…after a while, you snap, kill everyone in the house with a chainsaw, leave the bodies behind, and start up a new family in a new town 3,000 miles away. Okay… too much…sorry. Just saw “The Stepdad” a few days ago on TV.

Anyway, I digress….

The point is, if you’re really not sorry, then why should you apologize? Granted, if you notice that you are never admitting to doing any wrong, then you might need to re-evaluate your concept of “right” or “wrong”. No one is infallible. But you should never need to apologize for that in which you truly believe, much less something like pointing out the obvious.

For instance, let’s say you go and meet with someone to discuss…oh, I dunno… let’s just hypothetically say: Important issues regarding national security. And you arrive to find they are unprepared. And then you leave the meeting and someone asks you “how did it go?”

Are you a total d-bag for stating the obvious here? “Well… he was unprepared…so it was a bit disappointing.”

For those of you living under a rock, I’m referring to McChrystal’s recent “apology” following a meeting with the president:

Having deference for the president has nothing to do with the fact that the president came to a meeting unprepared. Plus, as Lara says, McChrystal is notoriously “known for speaking his mind” and for “not being a politician”. So, what’s the big deal? I haven’t seen the Q & A article yet. If he mocked anyone at that meeting or said anything inappropriate, then that’s fine. Apologize for that. But don’t express sorrow for shining light on the fact that someone wasn’t ready for an important meeting, just because of their office. Maybe, thanks to your honesty, he will arrive better prepared next go round.

Except, if this is consistently permitted (forcing apologies), there are larger implications than one relationship between a guy and a girl. Rights like free speech go away, and the situation looks like little more than a modern day version of The Fuhrer’s Emperor’s New Clothes.

Because telling someone else that they are right all the time, is just as bad as never admitting when you yourself are wrong.

<3~A