Ever wonder what the valet does once in your Ferrari? Me either. Because I’ve never been in a Ferrari and my last valet encounter was at the ER. But for the woefully wealthy, it’s a nuisance they must face every day if they’d like to lunch with Lindsay and maintain an appearance of relevance in their glittering social strata. “I was certain I had a couple more of these “.. Read More
Strike An Adi-Pose
You know what sucks more ass than fat? Dying while you get fat sucked out of your ass. Which is what happened to this former supermodel a couple years ago: (Not bad for middle aged chick right?). Now the found-guilty doctor is facing time – but not as much as he should for a med-profesh who knew she’d had her effing heart replaced a decade prior. Even for normal people,.. Read More
Blatant Lines
When that one Robin Thicke song came out, I didn’t get it. Not “it” as in the song meaning – but “it” as in the brouhaha behind just another one of many misogynistic ditties. Rapey or not, the concept’s not unique to music. Some say the song (which is kind of open to interpretation) perpetuates rape culture. Pharrell (who worked on it and helped hit-itize the tune) told Oprah it.. Read More
Funbags and fitness with Victoria’s Secret
Much like yoga and porn preferences, workouts are a personal thing. Which is why the whole makeup at the gym thing is sort’ve “so what”? In the words of Marie Antoinette – “Let them have cake (face)!” Out of basic insecurity, it’s really easy for us to look at other people and judge. I do it – that projection thing. Whether it’s deflecting blame or mitigating shame by saying something.. Read More
Irrational Ashley: Arachnophobia
It’s time we stopped to really do some pontification on a matter of importance: Why are spiders so terrifying? It’s one thing when they’re en masse. That’s gross for anyone. Even butterfly swarms can be sort of unnerving (they’re still bugs). But even just a lone eight legger scouting the sidewalk is enough to stand my invisible fur on end like a Doberman spotting a robber. It’s also enough for.. Read More
Shape apron shaming: It’s flesh, not fat.
Let’s say you’re temporarily fat. You got wide this winter, summer’s coming, and the world’s ending. Right? When we witness excess in any form, it’s usually a symptom of underlying turmoil in the human under its influence. People who are perpetually too thin, too fat, too high, too drunk, whatever – generally aim to fill a pain void #ExceptionsExistDuh But you take someone like this who lost 170 pounds and.. Read More