DisDeppointment of the day

What an effing disappointment. I got all excited to hear Johnny Depp’s doing a new flick (and that he’s playing the big bad wolf, no less), only to learn two seconds later – that it’s a musical. What a horrible joke to play on me right at that point in the day where I need some good news in order to curb that nagging pang in my abdomen, avidly encouraging.. Read More

Middle school haircuts… with a purpose.

To my ladies: ever cut off your own hair as a kid? And then your mom yelled at you all the way to the hairdresser? Who subsequently fashioned the top of your head into the tip of a penis? I was going to hunt down an actual retro-me photo, when I happened upon this near-doppelganger film still of Jim instead. I shitchya not – there’s a photo of me at.. Read More

Snack and Whack Panda trumps Bad Touch Bears

I once shared how the “Bad Touch Bears” ruined my childhood. (It was like this, except pre-recorded and more horrifying. And my face was exactly like Tweak’s.) It was bad enough in its irony. The moment these furry Winnie The Pooh-esque creatures graced the screen of my first grade classroom T.V. set, I was reminded of my favorite honey-philiac and his gangly human pal. Even the static speckled screen created.. Read More

Youthful Fashion: Hooker, hobo, or schoolboy?

It’s always nice to hear people say you don’t look your age. (Assuming they don’t mean you actually look a decade older thanks to sins of your past). But I always assumed before people were just being nice – until more recently. What’s the change? Is it the lifestyle mods? Or could it be the less makeup/more cardio combo I’m rocking? This past year, I tried (for the first time.. Read More

The science of leftovers: reheated noodles – good for you?

“I’ll just have leftovers…” Ah, this shame filled phrase has followed many a regrettable night in my early twenties – after which I’d rise in the late afternoon, just barely reentering my body in time to watch the sun set and feel existential questions rise from deep down in my turning tummy. There’s a kind of guilt that goes with opening a mostly empty fridge. Hearing the low buzz. Seeing.. Read More

Breaking’s Bad for a jogging junkie

So, I skipped a day of jogging today. It’ll be fine, they said (The audience, that is, that posts in my head like a relentless online forum). A break will be good, they said. Mmmyeah… I haven’t felt this awful since that time I quit painkillers and valium simultaneously and my skin started doing what ocean water does right before it turns into a tsunami intent on ingesting Japanese folk.. Read More