Are you consumed with a contagious case of the Mondays? Well if you weren’t such a seriousness slut all the time, maybe you’d not have contracted it. Shhh shhh. It’s okay, though. I’m here to help with an antidote ready in hand. So before you carry on with your day – infecting everyone with your emotional AIDS – let’s pause and take an intravenous comedy shot together: 1. This dog.. Read More
Once upon a Saturday….
Once upon a Saturday …(around the time Cinderella and I both turn into a pumpkin)… …I was putting my socks on… A six-year-old’s feet: Her: “They almost fit!” Me: “Yes, they do! My feet are pretty small – but not as small as yours.” Her: (Sigh) “I guess that’s part of growing up, am I right?” Let me backtrack for some context here: A friend of mine had been called.. Read More
Lazy and Afraid in the literary wilderness
Sometimes I find myself lapsing into lazy, noncommittal, or masked language. And I hate it. Know what I mean – by “lazy” language? No? I don’t just mean a hashtag you’re not even using sarcastically. I mean replies like “LOL” when I’m not really laughing (which – if we’re having a real life conversation – might be a quiet, “that’s so funny…”). Or it might be: “Oh that’s cool.” I.. Read More
Thanks, Michelle Obama…
Let’s pause and thank Glob for the delightfully sarcastic #ThanksMichelleObama trend. Honestly, I can’t tell what they’re feeding these poor kids these days. And neither can the kids being fed. In a superficial effort to battle childhood obesity, the first lady’s had the lunch ladies do a food reboot in schools. I say “superficial” because it’s like putting a pretty bow on a car crash. Those with power make appearances.. Read More
The wheels on the bus go round on brown…
“Mom?” “Yes, darling.” “If cars run on gas… why can’t we just fart into the engine?” “Don’t be crude, dear.” It was a legit question, given that I was only five years old. (Give or take about twenty years.) But my point is, I always wondered why ass gas couldn’t pass for fuel – a topic that seemed to always be an issue. Even if you had no concept about.. Read More