Are YOU on the funds, comfort, and fornication carousel?

“Do people who make more money have more sex? Are they happier in life?” This may seem like a two part answer of “Duh” and “Duh point duh to the are-you-kidding-me-th power”, but let’s pick it apart a little bit. Sure, there are the obvious, superficial reasons the well-off catch a good batch of strange on the regular. But what about when people like you or I get a raise?.. Read More

Apple’s new watch is racist against tattoos.

Not that I was gonna get one anyway, but apparently I’m “incompatible” with Apple’s new watch. Because I have a tattoo. At least that’s what I was thinking when I read one misleading headline (but obviously effective clickbait – not unlike the one I’ve paired with this very piece) about their watches not working on humans who’ve been perma-doodled. “What’s this, Ashley? Is Apple racist against the indelibly inked now?”.. Read More

“Asses to asses… Bust to bust”

Some things just go well together. Like peanut butter and jelly. Butter and popcorn. Sex… and death. Yep. You heard me right. After seeing a “in weird news” piece today about China tryn’a stop people from hiring strippers for funeral services, I wondered – when was this ever a thing to begin with? It sounds more like a cross between a Will Ferrell movie sub-plot and something that’d be reserved.. Read More

The Wolves of Wall Street Journal (and everywhere else)

They’re everywhere, these “native ads”. You maybe have heard of – or even fallen prey – to these wolves in sheep’s clothing. Because they look just like the content you’re seeking online – done up in the format of articles, videos, and other run of the mill posts – all hidden safely within the content flock of everything from Facebook to your favorite news outlet. The worst part is you.. Read More