Copyright laws are a bish, aren’t they?
Some people “transform” their public images or careers by being a bit blatant with plagiarism and some just get effed over hunting down media to insert into a news site without butthurting Getty. It’s understandable that people want money, though – especially if they waited in the streets of a concrete jungle for a celebrity to emerge from getting her ass douched. But what if the photographer lived in an actual jungle? And only wanted payment in bananas?
And… couldn’t speak?
David Slater had to learn the answer to this the tough way – by first bearing witness to the first “monkey selfies” ever when one of the black macaques he was studying hijacked his equipment and fell in love with the shutter button noise. The results? Thousands of amazing auto portraits, like this:
The problem arose when Wikipedia decided to use the pictures captured with his equipment, and refused to delete them or compensate him on the grounds that photo ownership falls into the hands… that took the picture. And even though the opposable thumb belongs to someone who may have actually taken more selfies in one sesh than James Franco has during his entire Instagram career, that creature also has no capacity for language. So, now, this poor dude is losing dough because, well, why buy the monkey when you can get something viral out of it that’s not ebola for free? I get that. We’re living in greed society. I wouldn’t expect anything less. If I learned anything from The Social Network, it’s that money’s green ’cause it’s jealous – and it’ll only be your friend if you’re willing to lose a lot of real ones along the way. So, homie just needs to step up his own game.
I personally see no problems – only solutions. Here’s a few of the top of the dome:
Option 1: Lie, duh. “The monkey didn’t really take it. I did. I just wanted my fifteen famous memetic minutes on the net.”
Option 2: Teach the monkeys to sign. Take Wiki to court, put Curious George on the stand, and ask him if he’d like to claim photo ownership and sue the web-cyclopedia for all it’s worth (Plot twist: the only thing Slater taught the monkey beforehand was the word ‘yes’).
Option 3: Buy the motherfluffer (in name only) with the promise that he can both carry on residing in his natural habitat and that he will receive half of the lawsuit money the wiki victim receives… in the form of macaque snacks. Cue to in-court big reveal: “No your honor, I do not own the selfie – but I do own the simian!”
Or, ya know…
We could just cut the bullshit and tell Gary to come claim his picture.
