I’ve been accused of “telepathy” more than once in my day.
My buddy over at Richardland can attest to my involuntary knack for synchronicity. But it’s a clumsy talent at best, since I’m not yet able to actually control it. It’s more of an “I make a comment or ask you a question whereupon you call me a whore and tell me to get out of your head organ before even replying to me” sorta thing.
For a while, I thought I was just really good at reading body language cues or micro-expreshes. But when your spooky connection lives across the country, explanations get complicated until you pass it off as coincidences that just happen to happen in domino effect. That all said, let’s don’t tell anyone about my Sookie Stackhouse-ism. I mean, we don’t want me being hauled away to Groom Lake to be prodded and studied and forced to reveal hidden locations of remote enemies in far away lands (that was an actual thing the government did in 60’s, apparently).
Besides, why would they even need au natural help, when science is now putting brain-to-brain technology at our fingertips? Forget my beta-level magic that I can’t even command at will and is thus more backfire-y than brilliant.
Let’s pop on caps and zap eachother’s neurons into a speechless convo instead!
Much like my pal Rich and I, subjects in a recent study were able to transfer messages to recipients at far distances – except in a slightly more refined way – through an EEG skull cap that reached the human receiver in the form of a “phosphene”. Phosphenes are perceived flashes of light that can mean either something’s wrong with your eyes or you just had a serious “AHA!” moment. I tend to get them during yoga, meditation, or just when I’m driving along and suddenly realize something really important – like how when the cop behind me pulls me over, I can get out of a ticket by emotionally faking a life threatening illness and and demanding he take me to the hospital.
Although we all know how that’d actually go down.
“Here, try my homemade pepper spray soup. It’ll help. Promise.”
The brain-email was something I’ve read Dr. Michio Kaku talk about before in his novel that I bought and never finished. But how does this work? Does the phosphene come up like a concept? For instance, there’s this exercise I do the morning after a dream I can’t quite recall. If I go through the alphabet, thinking of the letters one by one (like when you’ve got a song name on the tip of your tongue), I’ll get that phosphene kind of a thing in the form of a color or two, and then a fleeting image, thereafter. Like, if my dream took place in the woods, I’ll get a flash of green and brown (colors of leaves and trees) when I reach “F” for forest or “W” for woods. The letter, color, and word all happen like an associative domino effect. Sounds odd, but I challenge one of you to try it – and I wonder if this telepathic helmet just bypasses the whole exercise in singing to myself (like someone who needs a different kinda special helmet).
Is it the same idea – but the zap cap just bypasses all the ABC dirty work?
I still don’t fully comprehend it yet. What I do know is that as I keep contemplating how the applications for this in day-to-day life would work out (and trying to ignore the terrifying prospect of when the government inevitably starts using it to manipulate all of us by pinging the phosphene emails to us from the phones we’re addicted to)…
…I come up with the following at least:
1. Epic for self-emailing
(Send myself all my brilliant mid-jog ideas I can’t jot down? Yep!)
2. It’d be alright on the Freudian couch.
(My ruminations make more sense pre-filter of language)
3. 50/50 during meals
(no interrupting nomming to talk, but also can’t use giant foodbites to “stall” answering)
4. A genital genocide during sex
(I’d go sandy and you’d go flaccid if we could read eachother’s coital thoughts.)
5. Leave you 100% friendless if you have a brain like me
(Some things need to be pre-screen said out loud before they’re shared).
I dunno, man. Sounds fun but…
I’ll just keep it natch and let the villagers chase and burn me in the public square.
Or… enjoy watching them try.
#poofiamgone