I was still in bed when I read the email saying work payments were moving to a new app.
That was my initial reaction.
See, the app, which I’ve since begun using and fallen in passive lust with (‘cause it does all the work for you), is a fast cash program put out by Square. And while I’m thus far really, really, really enjoying its benefits, the morning I got this news couldn’t have been worse timing. It was early-A.M. And I had a cervical headache radiating gong like pain through my skull. Also, I was sleepily sifting from bed through my emails (ya know, so I could start up the things-to-worry-about bit of my brain the way people with out-of-home jobs remotely engine-start their cars from inside during winter). So, when I came across this email I half thought “Ugh, inconvenient” and half thought, “Thank god. I hate Paypal with all my organ-where-my-heart-should-be-but-isn’t.” The inconvenience factor was that I didn’t wanna. Why? Because of the self-induced problem of my iphone still needing to be updated to download apps like this new one. And that was a problem I caused by spending the past year or two procrastinating on doing it to the point where it became such an impossible, insurmountable task in my mind that I fought it tooth and nail and ultimately refused. Even though it meant I couldn’t download any apps at all anymore.
Until it involved my money.
And that’s where the “Thank god” part came in – because my hatred of Paypal would be just enough to get me through the next layer of misery to come with a bit of serenity. The problem with PayPal is that it’s a level snail slow when it comes to me actually getting my money. I have to wait for them to accept the payer’s transfer. That takes time. Then I have to transfer it to my account. That takes time too. Factor in two to three business days on my end… plus the weekend… carry the two… and divide by approximately twelve bitch fits for every day I wait, and it all makes for some very angry arithmetic on my end. I had more fun learning trigonometry for the first time.
That said, change is hard. Especially when it involves your change. (#zing)
And I also, understandably, had all the usual questions that you’d expect: I have to give what information? Is it secure? What’s going on? Ultimately, I bit the bullet, researched the security level, and resigned myself to the fact that my phone’s soul finally would get its much needed makeover. Then everything went wrong. Maybe it was the lack of sufficient coffee. Maybe it was the lack of sufficient synapses happening so early in the day. Or maybe it was that my laptop had chosen to crap out simultaneously. Whatever it was in the gadget atmosphere that day, I suddenly lost all the content in my phone while trying to save it to my itunes… so that I could update the cell itself… so that I could download the Cash App… so that I could give Paypal the finger forever.
My reaction to this question is a yes-no.
‘cause, like Hellboy, I was already dead. And in hell. And just didn’t realize it – until the witchcraft of updating brought me to earth where I can now kick ass in a facilitated fashion. Setting aside time to make change is always inconvenient – especially when it involves your mobile unexpectedly deleting three years of info, friends, and photos from that one time you met modern day Jesus. This cuts into the time you’d spend working. You can’t make any calls to conduct business. The posterity of pictures, notes for work, and phone numbers are forever lost (go on, tell me I should’a been using The Cloud all along). But the fact of the matter is that part of me was a little excited once I finally got it functional – about having a clean slate and a faster phone. And – most importantly – faster cash. I now have an updated version of my phone that I can actually use and download apps I need. I rediscovered my Apple username and password for the first time in ten light years. And – as for the Paypal switch? Let’s just say there’s no better alarm clock than the sound of your money Cha-CHINGing into your personal account within 24 hours of you submitting your work.
It’s enough to make you smile through those still-in-bed email browsing seshes.
(Now watch us all get hacked by Anonymous next week.)