Anyone else see this pic of the chick who sprang a leak?

The big kerfuffle over this happened after some nice Indian lady uploaded it as part of a photo project, showing women in natural states. Instagram’s natural state was to say “Ewwww” and remove it. Chick uploaded it again, along with a long winded “if e’ryone else can post bishes in they drawz, then I’mma post ’em filling them drawz with shed uterus bits.” (Except more eloquently put. I think.) When she got massive support, only then did IG do the whole mea culpa (albeit a standard xeroxed one everybody gets) and let her post it back up.

Which leaves us with the question:

Which other natural bodily functions involving effluvia should be permitted to the general public?

In my humble opinion – all of them. From jizz stains to sharts. Why? ’cause the less you transmogrify some natural process (that’s part of the package deal while being human) into a sin-apple, the less people are tempted to turn it into something perverted. In fact, here are the top few I can think of that we shouldn’t bother to blur out anymore along with lady blood.

Excrement

Ever read “Everybody Poops”?

I haven’t, but I’ve seen it everywhere since I was like, ten, and I’d like to.

(Sidenote, I also like how the modern version of it is Sammy Jax’s “Go The Fcck To Sleep”.

And speaking of things (like “fuck”) which get censored (by me, included, for your fragile peepers), why censor excrement? Don’t get me wrong. I’m no Albert Fish here. In fact, I get sick just thinking of butt fudge and its knee-buckling fetid scent. So much so that when Adventuretime likened bananas to poop, I had a little trouble eating my usual golden fruited breakfast for a week. That seems normal. It’s gross because it’s waste. No sane person would ever liken it to something edible (except the genius fathers of Finn and Jake) But, why censor it? I mean, poop’s just the product of a natural process – and sometimes a laborious feat to educe from your intestinal dungeon.

Why not celebrate the porcelain throne?

Oh wait, Instagram already is….


(Yes #poopingselfie is a thing.)

Next thing to uncensor?

Sex

Though banned to the seedy side of the internet, it does exist publicly.

But, still… the shame and stigma follows enough for you to delete your browser history anytime you indulge it.
Why? It’s a natural act. Let’s bring it out in the open. Let’s have Eyes Wide Shut parties. Why hide?
We’re not the only animals who fork for fun. Masturbating monkeys aren’t practicing for family planning.
They’re just having a good time.


Death

Death is also a natural part of life.

I’ve read before that some Buddhists watch the bodies of their loved ones decompose. The shells of their former family members turn green and purple and deflate. Gases erupt, shooting fluids to the ceiling. It’s a real spectacle – but it is real. It’s reality. That’s what happens without all the embalming fluids and post mortem makeup. And in Hindu culture, often they won’t bother to clear away bones in the street if they’re sitting there. For funerals? The males of the fam just lug mom or dad off across the Ganges to do a burning ceremony. It’s all very hands on. I especially like this one ’cause staying in such close contact with death reminds you of how important it is to not be an asshole while you’re still alive. Ya know? Like those NDE people who either almost-die or come back from the white light tunnel? And suddenly they live like fearless badasses and call mom and dad everyday? Maybe if we didn’t “Faces of Death” (anyone remember that series?) shit all the time or ban it to BestGore.com, there’d be fewer snuff films overall. Not just because it wouldn’t be as alluring to the perverted, but because people would finally have a chance to see it (versus some red carpet wardrobe event) and feel bad enough to try to do something about generalized inhumanity. ’cause death might be natch, but murder for funsies – less so. I think it’s ironic how we’re blessed with a higher consciousness than our animal friends. Especially when instead of using it to use what’s natural to our advantage and evolve, we just pervert what’s natural ourselves by layering blur blocks over it. And tranquilizing our brains against the pain of reality by making a celebrity’s sex change the talk of the town.

So, in sum, censoring – from public porking to sanguine queefs – should be jettisoned.

Period.