So, science found a f’real UFO?
Mhmmm…. Right after we disprove they did the pyramids, they come to get credit. Typical.
Well, what’s in it the shiny saucer?
Is the apocalypse finally happening?
Have they made demands or taken prisoners of war yet?
Are they going to eat my dog and make me watch to study human emotion?
Let’s not get ahead of ourselves just yet.
In the skies of Chile, indeed an “aerial phenomenon” was captured on a Samsung camera phone. They went through this whole battery of tests to rule out that the disc shaped object snapped over a copper mine from two different angles was either a hoax, weather balloon, reflection, or whatever else these things end up usually being. Because it was photographed on a clear blue sky kinda day, clouds weren’t part of the equation either. So the sci-guys came in, magnified it, and started looking at the “reflective” properties. All of this coupled with the fact that the Chilean aliens chilled up in the atmosphere watching the Chileans do their thang for a couple of hours on hover mode, made the profesh-idudes dub it “an object or a phenomenon of great interest and it can be qualified as a UFO”
Before I get too excited and start asking them for a ride or free colonoscopy, I have to remember what UFO actually means. It just means it’s been unidentified. So far. And they dunno what it is. Yet. Once upon a time in college, I couldn’t identify what kind of pill was being passed to me. It was “unidentified”. So I did some research of my own. The only problem was, back then the internet wasn’t as easily fingertip-accessible. Thus, I had to kick it old school Edwin Katskee style. And indeed, before long, as I licked the stereo speakers in an act of gratitude for the beautiful synesthesia-inducing music it bumped, I could identify that it what I had taken was definitely, irrefutably, beyond a shadow of a doub-…
Actually, I still dunno what that was.
But the point remains: If aliens can come visit us, they can also do a lot of other galaxy-spanning stuff we can’t do. That means they’re smarter than us. And if they’re smarter than us, they can do what they please to us as well. And much like the effects of a mystery pill, we’re totally powerless over it.
So, I get the intrigue ‘n all.
And sure, maybe grey or green or purple ethereal creatures walk among us.
But it’s kinda silly to worry about beings we can’t beat either way.
And it’s definitely laughable to think we’d ever get to be the ones studying them
(We’d be playing bottom in this love story.) But hey, maybe they’re here to help. Like, they heard about the Chilean miners that one time and felt bad, so they check in e’ry now and then? Or they got the wrong memo – thinking they were actual minors? Or copper is scarce where they come from?
Oh – or we could think outside the box-o-sphere:
Keanu meme: “What if the reflection’s a giant magnifying glass and it’s god burning us alive?”
Reeves-ception: “What if god’s giant magnifying glass is really what’s causing global warming?”