Cell phone bans make for shitty accident prevention.
Thoughtless drivers always find new ways to be thoughtless; so distracted driving wasn’t an innovation brought about by the horror show that is texting while driving (though I do wonder how many “one phone one wheel” half-finished vlogs have made their way to bestgore.com). Sure, mobiles may have served as a good extra attention stealer, but we can’t blame all our traffic accidents on our handheld Hals. Back in 2008 – when using a mobile behind your automobile’s wheel became illegal, there was a study done to see if it helped any. They had to run the study quickly (to avoid variables like better cars or weather being the reason for rise and fall in accidents instead of new laws), but within a mere month or two of banning cruise-and-chat… nothing happened.
Well, except accidents… Those kept happening.
But why?
Well, since it’s hard to get straight answers outta Crashy McDistraction, we guess:
1. Eff da police!
People know, but they don’t care. We’re all guilty of this. Even the best of us. We know it’s a rule, but we really don’t like it, so we make amendments to it like the “Oh, it’s a stop sign/stop light/the traffic’s slowed down” one I’m guilty of enacting at will. And I know other people are too, because I can’t count how many times a light’s turned green and… nobody moves. The problem with these personal amendments is that when you’re addicted to technology, one hit’s never enough. You open up that text or comment convo, and traffic reality gets black-holed. That’s fine if you’re at home. But when you’re conducting a death weapon around other people doing the same? Not so much.
2. Didn’t ban Bluetooth!
Hands-free devices are still super distracting. I didn’t really understand “how” until the first time I saw a person walking down the street, muttering, and issuing me a Manson-esque stare-through-my-soul kind of stare. It wasn’t till I got closer that I saw the earpiece. Where he was, I didn’t even exist. Homie was in another world. So, it makes sense – that even hands free technology would be distracting. I get a little distracted just talking to someone who’s sitting shotgun. When you add in the whole “can you hear me now?” element, it’s like juggling two different realities at once: conversating and navigating. And if that convo’s a high-anxiety work or school or PTA related one, your chances of crashing probably go up a good deal.
3. ADH-oh look! It’s a horsie!
Of the three, I’mma go with this one, which I’d like to rename BFD (bad fcking drivers). This one’s nice because it doesn’t exclude the other two. They say that where there’s a will, there’s a way. And I tend to think that this extends to both general stupidity and the will of the perpetually distracted. The former doesn’t bother to follow road rules. The latter aims to have their thumbs in as many pies as possible all the time to avoid the pain of living – and cry later when nothing gets accomplished except a trip to the junkyard. I say this as someone who’s been guilty of fixing makeup in the rearview, making plans with my speakerphone on, and holding a mocha with one hand – for more years I’ve spent driving than not. All’a that shiz can wait. The weight of the world is only on our shoulders if we fail to take it off one pound at a time. Try it all at once and we end up in a hospital.
I know it’s hard to remember, so imagine Tyler Durden saying it: you’re not special. Your busy life doesn’t matter. Hang up the phone, speakerphone, ear-piece, makeup, coffee – and just drive. Because you look like you’re doing a slalom down I95.
And I have no idea what the cops are doing when they’re actually needed.
