I hate on my own phone a lot here on MissAshleyPants.

Because it’s slowly trying to kill me.

freaksphone

With a little help from my laptop, it’s ruined my eyes, deformed my posture, and many a day has turned to night unbeknownst to me during my hours spent on these contraptions. Also, I hate running with my phone – it’s like carrying one dumbbell wherever you go.

And you know who else hates phones? Restaurants. For good reason, too.

This thing that showed up on Facebook recently mentioned how footage from ten years ago compared to today revealed how much dining establishments get held up. One in New York claimed that its bad reviews are because people coming to eat spend half the menu-reading time twitter-reading instead (or emails. Or sexting. Or foodstagramming) and hold up the works.

diningphone

dinephohne2

Normally, I’d say “screw restaurants anyway”. And while that hasn’t changed, it’s more about the mentality of the people going into the restaurants. I tend to think that making people serve you all the time is ridiculous – unless we’re talking about the little person I employ who lives and sleeps underneath my bed.

But since he can’t reach the stove, food prep’s not among those things.

I think I dislike dining out because of my time when I lived back in L.A. and saw the array of I-treat-the-help-horribly mentality. Likewise, there’s something about acting snobby or patronizing or different in general around a server that just kind of rubs me wrong and that’s put me off enjoying any related experience. Whether you don’t even look at them like a human or talk to them like they just flew in from an Aborigine tribe to feed you: annoying.

First of all, it’s stupid to do – for the obvious reason of increasing your chances of getting your meal peppered with ball hair. Secondly, why you acting so different for, homie? Whether it’s people who disclose their orders quietly – like some shameful secret being shared – or those who treat the server like a robot with flesh, I just can’t stand it. It’s like those twin-switch 80’s movies where one starts trying to act posh to will the illusion of born-wealthy into existence but it just comes off cringeworthy. In turn, that makes me hate restaurants because of the well-deserved stigma we patrons get for being the douchebags of dinnertime. Now, this mindless mobile use when there’s a waiting list just adds to that.

That said, I enjoy criticizing everything, including the things with which I agree. So, for the purposes of playing devil’s advocate (who the devil also confers with via iphone over a meal), I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out how much more official and unbiased it seems when you report shiz you observed watching footage via infographic (like the two above)… instead of barring them behind a prison of the quotation marks they deserve.

Or, ya know, just showing us the actual footage.

whateverjennifer

Whatever. We’re too busy opining online while dining to care.