We work out all sorts of different body parts to look good and train.
So… why not our brains?
That was (in so many words) the pitch from Lumosity many moons ago when I first saw an ad for it. “Brain games” purport to boost your memory into your golden years and even make you better at math. So, after about the millionth time seeing one of these things, I finally decided to hop on Lumosity.com and give it a try. Shooting at video game birds? Memory-matching things? This was almost as fun as throwing my dishes when I’m angry. But just like my favey rage pastime, there’s always a catch. With kitchen tantrums, that’s generally gonna be me having to fork out funds to buy new plates and cups. And with brain bench presses, I’m also gonna hafta hand over the three digits on the back of my Mastercard if I wanna keep playing past the trial period.
When something’s free, it’s easy to get lost in it and have a blast “Why not? Let’s waste the whole day!” I can’t sing its praises enough (unless it’s Facebook updating the layout and stuff). But the second money comes into play, I’m questioning its motives, whether it ever even was worth the time, and building conspiracy theories in the back of my brain as to whether the illuminati might be running it (Aha! That’s why it’s called “lumosity” – isn’t it? Isn’t it?!) And by then, I’ve already e-signed away my soul. To the alien freak overlords.
Or underlords.
Depending on their height.
So now that I’m “one of them”, do these brain games actually work?
Will I get a freak-of-nature brain too?
Trying to step outside of my inner arcade kid having a blast (and imbue the sitch with a bit of self-awareness), I’d say: yes and no. When I’m playing the Lumosity games or similar ones, there’s a bit of that reticular formation activation that jars me outta autopilot to work on ass-kicking the task at hand. It’s like I can feel a storm of amazing happening in my mind beyond its usual level. Suddenly, I’m Neo in a strange but totally-conquerable-because-I-know-kung-fu world.
That lasts for maybe five minutes.
Beyond that, it becomes like any other repetitive, addictive, compulsive activity. And that’s what the science guys over at the Stanford Center for Longevity seem to corroborate. They say that after so long, if you’re getting really good scores at the game, it’s probably for the same reason Michael Jordon got good at basketball. The only diff is that basketball gets you off your ass and can get you lots of money and bishes. Sitting and playing the smart version of AngryBirds is just gonna make you really good at playing Smart-Angrybirds.
Although your ass might look like a backboard after too long.
Thus, the Stanford researchers went on to explain the obv.:
Getting good at one specific task doesn’t translate to broad cognitive improvements.
And while, yeah, play those games some amount – don’t overdo it and waste your time. Because what your brain needs to get those broad cognitive improvements is balance. Balance sounds really boring, so let’s try that same “gym” analogy. When you go from stuff like socializing to exercising to reading, it’s like getting in arm day and leg day and cardio all at once (except without feeling like a carcass marinating in an acid bath afterward). That’s because you’re booting up different circuitry in different bits of your brain when you switch between activities.
Doesn’t matter if you’ve gone from reading Ulysses to pulling a miner’s pickle at a fair – you’re still covering more area of your brain. And that’s what makes for “broad improvement” of your brain-body. Contrarily, slumping in front of the Lumosity site for hours is like only doing the recumbent bike every Equinox visit. And nothing else.
And then complaining your arms are flabby.
So, yeah, man. I’ll play. But I’m not paying some mental meathead membership.
If that resonates with you, here are some free poor man’s versions to enrich our thinkeries.
Use ‘em in moderation.
http://www.neuroarcade.com/
http://www.cambridgebrainsciences.com/browse