Calm down. Calm down. You didn’t miss it. It’s not here yet (thank goodness). However, as that foreboding “halfway point” (between my last birthday and the next one) came and went, I realized two things.

The first? There’s definitely an inverse relationship between the accelerating speed of time between these menacing milestones and… your metabolism.

The second? This:

gwenabe3

Hmmm.

Well, I gave optimism a shot and was promptly cock-blocked by the reality fairy. Thus, instead, it’s time to start seeking out all the fountain-of-youth treatments and best kept secrets out there. Please feel free to offer suggestions.

Otherwise, soon the only “silver linings” are going to be happening in my hair.

xoxo
<3~A