Remember the games we used to play during kid-hood sleepovers?
Bloody Mary? Light as a feather, stiff as a Ouija board?
Trying to unscramble the porn channel?
Well, shiz just got minimalist with this “Charlie, Charlie” game the kids are playing now to stage a self-freakout (with the actual aim of freaking out the rest of the world later when they share it online). The gist of it is that you cross two pencils over eachother, and plop them on a paper with “No’s” and “Yes’s” written in four corners.
Yes, like that.
And then, after that, you summon the unknown entity, whereupon you’re supposed to see the pencil move toward one of the yes’s or no’s. And if that happens, the idea’s that you’re “in the presence of a Mexican demon” (obviously; what else?). Which you can then ask about life’s most important inquiries teenagers would have for underearthlings: “Will my tits fill out soon? How long should we wait to tell mom that dad’s been dicking around with the Pilipino poolboy? Oh, and BTW, should I start cutting myself since I just found out Dr. Who is getting hitched to another famous person?”)
I half love/ half hate this idea.
The thing I do love is that, while it’s basically a lazy version of Ouija, it yes-ands that board game concept to maximize profits while spending zero dollars. Because what the smart kids do is Blair Witch/Cloverfield that ish into looking like Charlie replied to their paranormal message in some creepy way. Shaky cameras. Screams. Staged fainting. Boom. You’ve just gone viral and made bank off your Friday night sleepover. Doesn’t matter what percentage is kids who really believe it or those who just came to hate ‘n eye-roll. It’s smart and a sign of youths who think outside of the boxed up board games you can just make yourself (and instead of paying money for buying it – ultimately get paid to play it when people watch).
(Step 1: Upload video.
Step 2: Title it “Charlie, Charlie Pencil Game”.
Step 3: Profit.
Oh, I forgot Step 0.5: Make the video you upload be no more than an outline of these steps I’ve listed.)
And what I don’t like?
How abusive this is to the pobre cita, Mexican demon. I mean, I just heard a bunch of high school girls talking recently amongst themselves. And it sounded exactly like a stereotypical Valley girl skit mixed in evenly with any episode ever of The View. (IOW: Nothing’s changed since I left high school.) Poor bastard, that Charlie, wouldn’t be able to keep up. If we’re eschewing all science here and playing along with the this-game-is-real rules, then them pencils’d be spinning like a compass in a basket of magnets while flying over the Bermuda triangle. Don’t ask me why a compass is flying over Bermuda by itself in that analogy, but I assume the answer is somewhere in the same book that satisfies the question about why a demon would be doing parlor tricks with teen girls who never shut the fckk up in the first place. (My guess? The fuhrer of the fire dungeon assigned it to the unlucky bastard as part of his eternal punishment.)
Either way, in the end, I personally have but three questions for Charlie, Charlie:
If you’re a Mexican demon, shouldn’t this game be called “Carlos, Carlos”?
Would you like us to instead make the board be dos Si’s y No’s?
Are these questions racist?
