Where is YOUR favorite place to put your penis?
Between some of the Hollywood movies I have seen and tales told by the men I know, apparently there are many an adventurous penis out there. And the desire to have a perpetual sausage Odyssey is so great that men and little boys alike have let it lead them through their lives like some fleshy legless horse drawn carriage.
And I don’t mean that in a cruel way. Quite the contrary, in fact. I have great penis envy. I mean, how nice would it be on a long road trip or jog to quickly whip it out so that I don’t have to go back home or pop a squat on the side of highway? However, a little more challenging for me, I suppose, is understanding at exactly what point arousal outweighs – oh, I dunno… desire for peen preservation.
Well, a story last week convinced me that it’s more about ego-preservation.
Remember that scene in “Out Cold”? Where he puts his junk in the Jacuzzi jet thingy? And freezes in the cold cause he’s suction-stuck? Well the same thing in an opposite climate happened to an Asian man who got his eggroll (racist) stuck in piping. After remaining that way for two entire days, he finally got help escaping – and the officials said his dong was so swollen they had to cut it off around him.
(But wait – there’s more!)
When asked the one worded million dollar question (how???), his response was: “It was so hot I was painting in the nude and I slipped on the floor, causing my private parts to fall inside the pipe.” Figuring some might not buy the Chinese dingle trap story, he said he didn’t want to call anyone. Then, when he caught a fever, he finally rang for help.
#zing
And why’d he wait? He was afraid no one would believe him.
…YEP.
Just be honest. It’d be so much funnier for everyone – including you. I guess it’s a cultural shame thing. So let this be a lesson – pride might put you minus some private parts. So, mayhaps try to remember that the next time you see a cylindrical vacuum…
…and Barry White starts playing in in your head.