The first class mail you used to get on Saturdays may be arriving later now; however, soon the courier carrying it will be arriving fashionably late… Literally.

That’s right. The USPS is about to get a style makeover by 2014 – a functional fashion line, complete with accessories and “smart apparel”. And what better way to reflect their motto about the elements never “keeping them from their appointed rounds” than a brand label dubbed “Rain, Heat, & Snow” itself? The Cleveland company Waconah Group is set to begin with a line of “high end” clothing – for men first, and then ladies later.

“The main focus will be to produce Rain Heat & Snow apparel and accessories using technology to create ‘smart apparel’ — also known as wearable electronics,” says Steven Mills (Postal Service Corporate Licensing Manager).

Isaac Crawford (CEO of Waconah itself) describes how chic it’s going to be, due for its initial debut in specialty and department stores. All weather gear for your head, hands, and feet may be comprised of “sweat wicking” fabric, but don’t expect it to be anything less than fkkn classy… or “image-conscious, first class, high end line,” as Isaac more eloquently puts it.

Trust Cleveland to know classy couture.

Not a bad idea of mine. Perhaps a patent is in order...
Not a bad idea of mine. Perhaps a patent is in order…

While it’s fun to poke fun at postal vogue-ing, you can’t write it off just yet. One of the big features being mentioned is the “ipod friendly” component in the works. Aside from creating stylistic variety from outerwear and athletic to seasonal and casual looks, the threads themselves will be threaded – with wiring for you to not only hear your ipod, but control it from the sleeve of your jacket. You jelly? Don’t worry if you’re not a mailman, because everyone’s welcome to the parcel party. That’s right, you can help boost USPS revenue by rocking mailman gear, too!

Take that, Northface.

Now, all Waconah has to do is get the right celebrity puppet to advertise it, pop the ad in GQ, and voila! The USPS can compensate for that near $16 billion loss from last year in no time. If it’s as big of a success as they claim, the hope is that it will help them out of the hole that made them eradicate employees or nix their benefits. Who knows, maybe it will serve as a sufficient deficit dig-out, and delivery of first class weekend mail can resume. If so, I personally move for a revamped, classier name altogether. First class, to be specific:

“Now introducing ‘Sartorial Saturdays‘… The courier’s classy cousin of ‘Casual Friday’…”
xoxo
<3~A