Hold on.
Just wiping the laughter induced tears away for a moment.
Alright. Now that I’ve collected myself, I’m just left a bit confused.
Because my first laugh of the morning award – a video commercial about “staying in school” that was posted by a friend – brings to my mind almost as many questions as it did smiles to my face the first five times I watched it. The first question being whether I’m an immoral bastard for laughing. I’m going to say no. Well, yes. How about maybe. I mean, come on. Let’s face it – whether they’re Disney princesses or slutty slacker teenagers, seeing spontaneous head explosions on a screen is delightful. And it’s about as opposite of serious when I see it in a commercial as it is opposite of successful in making me want to do anything productive. In fact, I just want to quit work now, leave home, and live out the day pretending I’m in a Coppola directed Coca cola commercial on the beach.
And then meet The True Death, apparently.
’cause that’s what happens when you skip class. Obvi.
As for what this message is meant to convey, though, maybe one of you can help me?
Was the idea supposed to comply with horror movie rules? Like, if you’re not morally good and go out and play hookey like a buncha hippies at the beach, you’ll die the same way sluts do at Camp Crystal Lake?
Or was it supposed to be more obvious – like – they’re too illiterate to comprehend a warning sign because they skip class so much? I was gonna go with this one, but it doesn’t make much sense within the context of the rest of the montage. I mean, don’t let that part where they read the map upside down, give up, and ultimately just toss it out the window be a supporting factor. First – nobody can read those effing things. Second –they’d all be on their phones anyway, probably, asking Siri for directions in between looking for more trouble to get into later.
Not playing guitars and blowing around in the breeze and writing on notebook pa–
Hey, wait a second!
If they’re all too illiterate to read bomb signs, what language is that one bish writing in on that paper while she’s in the car? Russian? Chinese? Hieroglyphics? But do I really even have to point that out as support for my “of course they can read” arugment? I feel like I require only two words to prove my point: Text. Messaging. In what world is this ad supposed to take place anyway? An alternate reality where iphones never happened? So nobody texts eachother?
Gotta read to do that, dumbass.
Hate to drop this “bomb” on ya, but I think the commercial’s meant to be sarcastic.
I think they have been attending school every day of their lives. And that’s he reason they’re so goddamned stupid. I bet they all read that sign and just didn’t have the common sense to think “This applies to us! And our faces and limbs!”
Why?
‘cause school doesn’t teach you common sense.
Boom.