Anyone else think this’d be cooler if it were the “scalding hot water challenge”?
Kidding. Kind of. I mean, trends like these already catch a lot of flack and get dubbed “slacktivism”. And while that’s one way of looking at it, I kind of like them. It’s not just because of the ALS awareness raising. (I mean, that’s good and bless the hearts of anyone going through this god awful disease – but there are a fluck ton of other horrible afflictions that deserve this kinda media spotlight also.) So, I don’t just like it for that.
Or because I get to see paper covered Franco-peen…
…or imagine who Britney fired after her glasses dropped along with a few F-bombs.
…or guess how many times Gaga had to reshoot this because she showed signs of being human like shuddering or dropping the bucket (judging by the wetness of her hair, I’m going to say at least five takes)…
…Or watch Gwen in awe as I usually do and wonder whether she became a vampire in 1999 or 2000 since she’s apparently still 29…
No, not any of that.
What I like about this campaign and campaigns like it is how smart it is. People have money to waste, but they’re a bit too I-me-oriented or even just mistrusting about tithing it away to some cause they aren’t sure is legit. That’d be understandable, except most of us don’t give it away even when we can see the cause or offer our services directly which is often even better. So then we say, “I don’t have time” or “it’s the weekend – I deserve to do nothing”. And you can’t point that out to anyone. You certainly can’t do it to me. If I smell the guilt sirens coming to put out my selfishness fire, I’ll start putting on my emotional blackmail retardant suit and let the flames consume me just so I don’t hafta hear you. So doing something good has to be either sexy or cool or cosmically pull you in at random. And if you’re counting on lotsa people to do the last thing – you’re gonna have a bad time. So we’ll just ask: what’s more sexy or cool or alluring than your childhood pop stars pouring chilly dihydrogen monoxide over themselves?
We’ve bought the shit they advertised and copied their fashion and mannerisms since youth.
They’ve been our gods. And now that they’re doing a good thing, when we copy them we can feel good about what we’re doing too while pretending we’re spesh.
Kinda want to wear red lipstick so I can do the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge Gwen Stefani style.
— Christelle (@Christelle_67_) August 19, 2014
#ImNotWrong
Even if we don’t know who started it and how he’s in constant thoroughgoing pain every day but somehow still has this amazing attitude about life, we get fifteen seconds of vine-style fame on the net. Also, it allows us to interact with our online friends in another way than just traffic carping or recounting last night’s True Blood and wondering if Bill’s gonna die while real-life people are actually facing death. This might sound like a sardonic rant, but that’s only because I’m spotlighting a truth:
Our egos like attention. So much so that they’d rather be showered with sub-zero liquid than guilt or negativity or – god forbid – irrelevance. Plus, it doesn’t hurt that you have to be “nominated”. Someone was thinking of me enough to nominate me to don a crown of ice? (*tugs at collar nervously*)
Like a homecoming queen? Challenge accepted!
It’s smart! Really. If vanity appeal’s the gateway drug to making people connect with each other in a more elevated way and get in the giving mindset, then yeah, man. I just wonder how many of them, in that moment after the freeze sinks into their shoulders and their field of vision transmogrifies into a hate mosaic of misery, are thinking: “It could be worse. I could wake up feeling more muscle-frozen and overall awful than this every day if I had ALS.”
Hey, maybe that’s why they chose ice water for this challenge.
Still, if someone invites me to do this, I’ll probably just donate to another cause. Not because I don’t support the ALS thing – I think it’s great what they’re doing. But these dudes have already raised millions thanks to this going viral (well, done, everyone.) And if this sorta stuff’s really about helping and do-gooding and not about a condensed Warholian moment shared for all to see online, then it’s time to remember that… and move on to where help’s needed even more.
Plus, when I’m given an ultimatum, I always make up a third option and do that instead.