So, this thing popped up in a TSA Insta-regram today:

Otter-box-cutter, anyone?

Kn-i-phone?

badum

As TSA was the original poster, obviously this guy got caught.

However, there are plenty of sneaky non-terrorists who’ve managed to pass unseen through the cracks of self-proclaimed top airport security across the ages. Mostly they just wanted a ride or a job, though.

For example, there was that one fifteen-year-old kid who recently went from Cali to Maui, stowed away in a wheel well. While 75 percent of people who try this die (by, ya know, passing out and falling outta planes), this teen trooper demolished the odds by entering a “hibernation state”. He was only trying to see his mom who he’d just learned was alive. So he walked to San Diego and jumped the fence.

You know what they say – blood’s thicker than oxygen.

Not unlike a New Yorker who also hopped a fence when he ran dry on jet ski fuel during a night ride. No gas? No problem! Just tread to JFK International and bust through their $100 mill security system like the Kool-Aid man.

Someone’s been playing too much Grand Theft Auto and watching too many cartoons.

gtagoofy
#thatpersonisme

Next is another kid-tale: the nine year old who eased through 3 security checkpoints by being cute after a day spent pranking employees and asking them to “look after his luggage for a moment” (AKA watch stranger’s suitcases nicked off the carousel), thereafter stealing away into oblivion, never to return and claim it. Little shit.

Finally, there’s the dude who Frank Abagnale style sniped the identity of someone else to work at Newark Airport. But he didn’t title loot to play pilot. Instead, he did the ultimate in fooling airport security: becoming one of them. Not only did he trick his fellow “empty your pockets and step this way” coworkers for 20 years, but he also rose in rank to a coveted supervisor position before being found out.

That’s a long time to not get caught by people paid to profile.

Talk about…hidden in “plane” sight (*looks frantically for CSI zing meme*)

Let’s do a motive tally here: We’ve got family love, survival when stranded, security service when in need of a job… Pretty much the only ill-intentioned reprobate here was the little shit who breezed through security on his adorable, youthful charm.

*sigh* sounds familiar…

knock

…not that I personally know how the sting of superficial rejection feels.

But, still. Ya know.

Sounds familiar.