Ever had an out of body experience?
No, not one’a those. I mean a legit, can’t-blame-the-drugs-for-this-one style “is this real life?” moment. My first one came about a week or two ago while waking up. And my best non-dramatic description for a holy-fckk experience like that which you can’t well put into words is this: It was brief, it was weird, and I wasn’t a fan of it. The only way I can even come close to detailing it in words is that it’s like when someone’s falling off a cliff and you try to yank them back toward you. Except, ya know. The “someone” is your own soul.
Yes, yes. I’m just as surprised as any of you that I have a soul, too.
But was that a preview of death?
Falling into oblivion? Reuniting with the Holy Higgs field forever?
You’d think there was no way to “test” this, but apparently there is. Or at least science is trying its hardest. They have a name for the believability of outta body accounts called “veridic perception” (if you’re WTF-ing that, “veridic” comes from Latin “veridicus” AKA “true”) The idea is to observe whether you can recall things that happened in the room when depart your flesh puppet. If you can, then you might have pulled some legit go-go gadget ghost action there in the OR.
Or mayhaps you just heard the nurses talking about it as you were waking up.
(#experimentalvariable). Or you ripped through space time upon carnal reentry. And retro-heard the convo that’d happened earlier. (#stillcool) Natch, other people who also aren’t just patient enough to wait till they’re dead to find out for themselves, tried running a similar experiment several years ago.
Because: curiosity.
And just like the curious cat who died and now watches you from the ceiling…
…they RIP’d the patients for their OBE investigation. #homicideforhumanity
Well, kind of. Temporarily. Some context: apparently doctors temporarily “kill” cardiac patients all the time – when they’re getting ticker implants. They hafta see if their heart devices work (nice excuse, psycho) so they stop the heart to kickstart it again. So, obviously, science took advantage of this in an ethically questionable experiment by playing cartoons in the room. As mentioned above, the goal was to see if that “veridic perception” transpired. So the question asked after was – did they see the cartoons while croaked?
Nope. No one saw the cartoons.
But, to be fair – is it just me or do cartoons seem kind of like a trivial test for an OBE?
Or NDE? Or anything except a GRE?
I mean, I can’t even be bothered to pay attention to TV now while I’m (technically) alive. So I’d like to think that if I was experiencing something as profound as my consciousness crossing the life-border like a terrified immigrant and remotely viewing the room, the lowest priority on my disembodied mind list for phantom note taking would be cartoons. Unless it’s Aquateen hunger force.
Is it Aquateen Hunger Force?
Hand me my popcor-!
Oh. Right. Don’t have a mouth anymore. #deadpeopleproblems
Plot twist sidebar – as this ATF episode educates us, technology like phones kill ghosts. (#facts) So maybe the cartoon playing T.V. itself killed the experiment and ghostly experience alike.