My shih-tzu gets more love than your child does.

And there’s nada better than spending long summer days with my bottom betch.

gayly

But while I love to take my pup everywhere with me, there are certain trips my dog can’t do with me in the summer or activities we’ve gotta keep brief. I thought I knew all there was to know about Pet 101 and have some hacks of my own to beat the heat – but there were indeed a few new things I learned about this week regarding canine care for warmer months.

For instance, did you ever wonder why Snoopy slept on top of his doghouse instead of inside?

Maybe Peanuts has an answer for this explained in one of the episodes ( I never truly paid attention – just enjoyed the pretty pictures and funny voices). Or maybe it’s because doghouses actually get pretty effing hot inside during the summer – way hotter than resting underneath a nice shady Oak and catching a gentle breeze to cool you off.

snoopy

However, hopefully S-dog at least puts on some SPF while sleeping atop his home.

’cause dogs – especially light colored ones like our classic cartoon pup – can get sunburns too (which was news to me – along with the fact that they have special antibiotics and Cortaid creams for them too). And aside from our fair coated friends, the ones with skin issues are more susceptible as well. So, even though some owners with the crazy canine wardrobes seem to have a few mental disorders of their own, they might be covering a doggy dermal disorder via duds to avoid sunburn. And a little stylish pet safety may not be a bad idea. This concept was new to me because I thought of clothes as being a means to cover up from the cold – so I only ever put vests on my pup in fall and winter while committing to the running gag of hiding her in a box to delight and disappoint the opener in a delicious ironic reaction cocktail.

lady
(“Aw, a furball! Aghh… not a fur coat :/ “) #dontbuyfur

Either way – avoid prolonged sun exposure – onesie or not.

And although the doghouse isn’t the best alternative (and I don’t have to deal with that anyway as an apartment dweller) this tidbit was actually helpful inasmuch as reminding me that dogs do do alright outside for a little bit at least – so long as it’s not Dubai-level hot out and they have water and a shady tree with wind passing through. So, that means that among the places she can join me is when I go tanning. We find a nice bench near trees, she sits in the shade, and I read while getting in an arm workout – swatting away biting flies.

dalmation
(Is this bish speedreading? Or thumbing through Cosmo?)

Still, she’ll get thirsty in that heat – so we plan for that too.

And I almost bought this ridiculous expensive “canine kettle” thing for that purpose (it’s really just a jar with a screw on lid). Then I stopped and realized – that’s literally no functionally different than the Tupperware I already have. So, to improvise, we bring a bottle of water and good old fashioned leak-proof Tupperware whether we’re going to hang out at the park or go for a hike. That way, if she doesn’t finish what I’ve poured, we haven’t wasted anything when she needs it later on. Works perfectly.

And to think I almost bought something I already have in my kitchen sink.

jake

Then, there’s the obvious but apparenlty-not-obvious-enough-to-the-dumbasses-who-still-do-it one: don’t leave your dog in the car during summer.

Even if you think you’re only going to be five minutes.

It is hot.

They will die inside of your car.

And then you will too – underneath of mine.

cruellacar

F’real though. If you’re prepared to hotbox your dog, don’t expect to return with an intact window. Spot’s got a new home now with people who don’t wanna nuke his viscera in the parking lot of Food Lion.

That’s just the rules of caninism.