How rude of me! All this time, and I haven’t bothered to introduce myself. If you’re a reader who doesn’t know me through Facebook, this is me:

This is me. Hi. 🙂

The items I’m rocking comprise just a few fashions in my “Ashley Approved” array of summer success styles. If you know me, you might have seen this Instagram pic I posted a bit ago:

The hair flowers aren’t too tough to master. Just clip a bobby pin to them, and shove them into the middle of your french braid!

However, moving on to the flipside of fashion: I’m convinced there exists, somewhere, a tyrannical trendsetter dictator. He’s obviously a misogynist, who wants women to look hideous, and this summer, he went balls to the wall…

Okay, let me break down the hypocrisy of this summer’s “fashion” trends in a way you can relate to: Starting with celebrities. Remember this gem?

“OMG she’s wearing MOM jeans!”

However many summers ago when Jessica Simpson rocked the above outfit to a cookout, everyone was trigger ready with their hate comments about her “mom jeans”, how horrible it looked, and what a “fashion fail” it was. In case you’re blind, the above object of insult is nothing more than high waisted denim. I’m not saying it’s okay. Mom jeans are never okay.

But maybe one of you out there can help me, and answer the following: Why the HELL is it “okay” or (worse) popular this summer season when it comes to shorts?

The popular denim donned in my Vogue mags and Instagram trends include things like the above, coupled with a few new ugly twists. Observe the following:

Seriously? Look at it. This looks like those used to be jeans, but she ripped off the bottoms after wading in the local polluted river to fish for dinner, since she’s clearly homeless with clothes like that. I can’t. Jessica’s jeans win any day over this mess…And that’s saying a lot.

Included in this sabotage are “high waisters” along with anything added to them: Silver Stud thingies, Aztec designs, the rippy shreds hanging off the bottoms, and any shorts that are so short the pockets hang down the thigh.

These include but are not limited to the following:

NOT OKAY

Dear god (if you exist)….

Ah… the ubiquitous Aztec design. If they’re right, the end of the world can’t come fast enough to rid the earth of this heinous horror

I don’t care HOW skinny or sexy you are. This is not okay. Ever.

DAFUQ?

I’ll end my “bad” section of denim with a positive comment. The reason THIS layout is nice because I’m 99% sure the nice lady who laid out this awful attire on the ground would never voluntarily wear it, but rather she’s obviously preparing it for an imminent Goodwill donation. *Golf Clap* in the appropriate direction! You go, girl!

Can we assess the 90’s backpack purse? Please tell me that’s not becoming popular again. If “But it’s Chanellllll” is your argument, I’ll stamp some double C’s on my dog’s next dump and you can pay me a thousand bucks for it.

But let’s move on to the positives. I hate to make this post drag on, so I’ll sum up just a few of my summery faves in the following poetic montage masterpiece:


Cut-out back dresses are fun

White classy bags match everyone

A little lace adds nice femme flair

As do some flowers in your hair…

An assymetrical style dress,

Might work on legs that are flawless,

But bright colors are such a win,

If donned upon tanned or bronzed skin,

But do not fret, as there’s no fail,

In matching mint with flesh that’s pale,

Blake, sweetie…you’re wearing my earrings. I’ll let you keep them if I can peel off your skin, hair, and body and wear it for like, just until I die, kaythx

Turquoise lights up necks, ears, and rings…

…And nail art’s cute….just… not *my* thing :/ …

Well, maybe this one might be fun 🙂

PS: If I offended you with my style review today, I’m super sorry…that you like ugly stuff :/

xoxo
<3~A