When I was little, I remember hearing about prime time tales of microwave murder. Small animals and babies were the quick-shock stories, while the slow-death of “standing too close” to the buzzing magic machine were more cautionary for those of us with the “watched pot never boils” syndrome. Even so, we were willing to wait and gain tumors, so long as that “never” held the sweet promise of a majestically.. Read More
Blowing up your home in the name of arachnid assassination.
So, a man burned down his house trying to kill a spider. Mmmyes. I can already identify with this story. After seeing eight legged satan in his laundry room, the man did what any sane person acting rationally and calmly would do: went after it with a lighter and a can of spray paint. You know, that’s good… And… I like where your head’s at, buddy. But you could have.. Read More
Panic Chick: Don’t Knocker It Til You’ve Fried It
Sometimes, when mildly annoying shiz happens in life, we just have to sit back and laugh at ourselves – particularly our own reaction to it. And then release it to the public to laugh at us too. Like, okay. You know how in horror movies, the girl (who’s wearing one of those bras the Victoria’s Secret lady has to go all the way to the back to get because they.. Read More