I might have to renege on a recent post suggestion I made.
Remember the floating oak worms? And how I made this long, drawn out emotional appeal to save them and carry them over to some foliage so that they can finish feasting and eventually metamorphosis into angelic, fluttering beauty? Well, I didn’t think that through. ‘cause if this shiz below is what we’ve all got to look forward to, then I need us to collectively cancel that order, abort mission, jump ship, and burn the whole forest down. I tried my hardest to be kind, and this is what I get?
(No good deed goes unpunished. I’d rather get attacked by Mothman than have watched Moth Miley.)
Why, yes, you are looking at Miley’s interpretache of Khia’s “Lick it Good”.
While I’m kinda apathetic to musical pop stars to start with, this rendition did kinda bother me. I mean, here she’s taken a timeless classic – one where the original was imbued with so much authentic emotion that you could hear the heartfelt plea within the singer for the same thing I’m sure every young woman in the world has always dreamt of ever since they were watching Disney for the first time and planning princess weddings. #toofar?
(Still a better love song than anything by Nicki Minaj)
Obviously I’m poking fun at the content of the song overall. First, because it logistically seems inefficient – going from your neck, to your back, then back to the front, and then back to the back again to attend to the crack. Dizzying. Secondly, if you need a didactic oration on oral-giving that’s set to melody, then I…. have to go return some videotapes. But, even so, the stylistic disparity between spastic Cyrus and Khia’s easy manner is sufficiently vexing. OG chick is clearly comfortable with cunnilingus talk while Moth Miley’s just shouting the lyrics rapid fire into the mic. The latter comes off more like an angsty teenager who’s trying to get back at her cheating ex rather than actually celebrate sexuality. And the thing is, HanMon is actually a decent singer. When you strip away the hype and brand and everything, she has a good voice that she’s just not using (or maybe she’s smoked it away with blunts like the one she had onstage). Mayhaps it’s time for her next talent metamorphosis. I wouldn’t care, except seeing skill get channeled into audiovisiual excrement reminds me of everyone I know (myself included) who has untapped potential they don’t mine out paired with interesting thoughts that they dunno how to communicate in a compelling way. Delivery is everything and so is effort.
Which is why the trending-trash takeaway here for me is a reminder to always sing from my heart.
Or my neck.
Or my back.
Or my pu-… Hey, look! A floating oak worm!