Are you a victim of the bad luck monster?

I heard an interesting theory today: “Some people just have bad luck.” Granted, there was a concession made – that through our level of awareness and lifestyle choices, we can either exacerbate or mitigate that. But that, despite all of that, some people just have a misfortune storm cloud hanging above them like some sentient inimical cumulonimbus. Like I said, it’s an interesting theory. I just, ya know, don’t share.. Read More

So *that’s* why I love dogs more than babies

Remember that rescue dog I wrote about a couple weeks back? Well, we got her. After calling her a litany of randomly confusing names that probably turned the poor fuzzy fckker schizophrenic, my mom and sister settled on “Baby Girl” as her official title. (Ironic, given her gargantuan proportions.) And, I’ve got to admit, I love her almost as much as I love durian or jogging. The behemoth hound weighs.. Read More

Snake fang bangs guido as breakup sex.

A love bite is always fun. Ya know. Those little mid make-out sesh lip nibbles to let your partner know this isn’t gonna be your run of the mill vanilla evenings. Not tonight. No, sir. You spent the afternoon at your local run down MVC Late Night – the one with the dying blinking neon lights that they haven’t bothered to repair in four years. You’re ready to take this.. Read More

The effect of taking the abs outta Abercrombrie.

You know how people buy special Lululemon stuff to go run or yogacize in? I’m not one of ‘em. It’s not just cuzza some special hipster stance, either. Even though they’re another horn ‘n pitchfork corporation like the rest of ‘em out there, it’s admittedly a tough decision when a given brand arguably makes even the pancake-iest ass look at least a few clicks more Brazilian once your back hams.. Read More

This transgender interview trumps Sawyer’s times ten.

I really wanted to finish that Sawyer interview, like I said I would. Because I want to really understand. And it’s not just ’cause I’m some empathetic saint who cares about things I can’t immediately relate to. No. This is pure full swing PMS talking right now. I want – nay – need to know why anyone would want to enter into this contract of crazy with their own body… Read More