“Don’t take yourself too seriously – no one else is.”
I heard this advice not long ago. And it’s true. Anyone I respect or admire is able to step back for a moment and relinquish any attachment to appearing above flaw, defect, or differences that might set us apart somehow. We all know in our hearts that error is natural. Sometimes we trip and fall. Sometimes we ruin Christmas. It’s what we do with our perceived flaws – self-inflicted or not – that make us awesome or wallowy.
For example, this photographer dude called Jimmy Nelson caught malaria as a kid, got bad meds, and lost all his hair by sixteen.
Teased for looking different, he tried compensating by behavior modification. When his go-hard façade of a bad ass rugby player wasn’t sufficient, he tried out some self-abasing humor. Dressing up in drag and being silly was what ended up attracting attention from the femmes.
Yep!
There’s something about a clown confident enough to trash his own masculinity mask that’s an absolute aphrodisiac – even if it’s momentary. My favorite comedians like Russell Brand and Louis C.K. couldn’t be more different, but laughter ensues every time either lapses into effeminate mannerisms. Louis will go into girly octaves to lace his blunt bits with irony icing. And Mr. Brand had an early-identity choice similar to Nelson’s as he entered acting school. When the broody James Dean-esque character proved a poor fit, he went for what worked: hilarity and hip shaking. Homeboy understands that we need to do what works for us – not force a fantastical daydream version of ourselves into existence.
Through Nelson’s travels, he slept beside indigenous tribes, witnessing the transient nature of vanity and how it alters across cultures. In some villages, the old are so revered that when they’re aged and minus their molars, the kids chew up food for them to eat. Totally like Western culture.
A group of warriors he photographed posteriorly appeared to be women to western observers. He explained that they’re more masculine than anyone either of us know – they just perform extreme preening pre-battle.
Some villagers he’d photograph would be apprehensive about being snapped. But the transformation was like any model in front of a camera who starts out shy. The attention you get and seeing someone tripping over themselves to get a shot of you – that’s an acquired vanity anyone can come to appreciate, apparently.
“In the beginning, people don’t want to be photographed,” Nelson says, “In the end, they won’t let you go…”
Seeing aesthetic disparities like these has to be liberating – and confirmation that you’ve got the right outlook on life. In the end, the idea isn’t about firing vanity from our lives. It’s about balance-striking. Go ahead and put on your war paint. But if you do, you gotta actually go be a warrior. The best part about this dude was how he started out using voluntary embarrassment as a protective mechanism – but it evolved into bringing joy.
Naturally, my inner asshole wants to say, “Yeah, but why you braggin’?” Then my higher asshole wants to tell my inner asshole, “And who have YOU helped today?” Then my inner realist steps in and says, “Wait, don’t people get in trouble for flashing kids?”
Naaah. That’s just a silly “Western” thing.